and seeing my husband act like a total nutcase usually does the trick...but not today!
Welcome to my pity party!
Most people who know me personally always comment on how much energy I have, they ask me how do I manage to remain so "up" and "turned on" for life all the time? Ive even been accused of being "bubbly" but they wouldnt be making comments like this today...OOOHH NOOO. they really wouldnt. The only bubbles today are from the slow boil Im feeling about my inadequacies.
I am feeling a little down on myself this morning. YA THINK????
I know it will pass, but I am growing increasingly impatient with myself for being unable to pick up and master the basics of this computer. Ive posted some of my favorite photos of my family, work, & have had a ball doing that. But since Allison & I found out that my problem wasnt so much with me as it was with Kodak not allowing me to post anything, so when Allie found another program, I wasnt able to "learn or get" how to transfer any "new pics" from the old program to the new one. I feel so limited, needy, and sooo here it comes...Stupid, & less than. I know...so unhealthy, but Im being honest.
I can repeat my spiritual lifting mantras about how I have all I need, how I lack nothing.... I can even chant...but lets be real. I DONT have all I need. I am LACKING. I need a non- defective, disabled, linear, brain that can learn like everyone else!!!! I know.... pass the cheese to go with my whine.
Ive had thee most generous and helpful friends privately email me to suggest all I have to do is...cut, copy, and paste, but the only thing I can "cut" at this point is my jugular vein!!!!
I surf and see all the creative and inspiring blogs, making me laugh, cry tears of sometimes sadness, and joy, I would do anything to be able to hang out with the big kids and have my own banner, funny little sayings, quotes, vintage, primitive photos, silly pics and long linking lists of my kindred spirits...ya know kinfolking bloggers.
One of my favorite sayings when Im feeling intolerant for lazy, or anyone marinating in the victim role, is "If ya wanna hang with the pack, ya cant piss like a puppy". and here I am piddlin away! Theres a spiritual solution for every problem presented, or PUSH=(pray until something happens)
When does it come? I am honest enough to admit its not for the lack of trying. Im up here resembling a college student cramming for finals, notes, upon notes, file folders, "Windows for Dummies"& Im feeling awfully silly thinking that one of my dreams and goals in the near future is learning howto sell my creations on my blog, or wonderful on-line markets.
Is anyone else out there able to offer me some much needed hope or guidence about how they managed to learn? Im unable to afford private tutoring, and theres nothing available at this time in terms of continued education in my area until late spring...
I so want to share my works in progress with you like other bloggers, until...I realized "I" was the work in progress.
I am really sorry for expressing such a vulnerable area of my life, but maybe "I have not because I have asked not" thanks in advance for any support, suggestions, or good old fashioned kick in the...well you know!