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Monday, August 31, 2009

The Allman Brothers

Woo Hoo!!! Rockin out with The Allman Brothers & Wide Spread Panic at the Dodge Center in Hartford Ct.
Last night Ronnie & I spent thee best night out in months w/ another sober couple we had invited. Ronnie had won 4 VIP tickets from a Bikers Against Animal Cruelty Rally last month.
Ronnie & I were simply saddened & amazed at the amount of ecstacy, weed and of course $9.00 beer so many were tanked on. I mean, I know Im older, & I certainly understand that just because "we" are gratefully choosing to live a life of sobriety, that not everyone "should" not drink or smoke occasional weed at a concert, Im not condoning..Im just sayin! But we were deeply disturbed at the amount of folks our age....late 40s & 50s..some older just torqued out & rolling on "X" These people had to drive scared me. & those not doing drugs were just hammered from alcohol. I know there had to be hundreds of call outs this morning in Ct. from hangover induced suffering. Guys on both sides of us were passing joints around inviting us to take a hit...the heavy drugs disgusted me, the stale beer smelled horrible but the weed was talking to did smell kinda...well damn good. But when we got outside, my hair and clothes reeked of it all. Yuck!
The opening band was "Wide Spread Panic" very good, very hard rock...lotsa strobe lights, light sticks,loud music & dancing...lotsa cooling down w/ $4.00 bottled water...
For free tickets we couldnt have had better seats, 8 rows from the stage and dead center...we could actually see Gregg perspiring as he was thrilling us all on his keyboards. I was excited to read on his website that hes been clean and sober for a few years now. Hes 61 & unfortunately joining me & thousands of others from the battle of Hep C. Hes had to cancel several states on this tour from the painful & exhausting flu like side effects & symptoms of treatment.

It was so much fun dressing up in my tye dyed hip huggers, black silk blouse w/ bell sleeves (very Stevie Nickish), & new black strappy sandles. Of course hubs was leathered out, wore his Native American choker of elk bone& turquoise that he made, & I couldnt have felt sorrier for all the women, I clearly had thee hottest man on my arm! (sigh) Although I did have to reel him in to reality... for gawkin at the Hooter he had a chance...dirty ole man of mine! LOL

What a blast from the past...such fun. They sang some olde classics, Sweet Melissa, Whipping Post, & almost every song from Eat A Peach album.
It was a great night, we really need more date nights between us. It was quite different from the old days where I may or may not have needed a bail bondsmen, didnt have pictures taken with numbers across my chest LOL and best of all this time remembered who we saw!!!!

Well I went to my Doctors & going back to work even on light duty isnt an option or open for discussion until Ive had 4 weeks of Physical Therapy for twice a week. I wasnt happy but gratefully had felt peace in finally accepting this is Gods will not is what it is till it isnt. I was more upset that my bosses were extremely upset & one of them took it out on me verbally. It took every bit of grace & class not to remind them had they done their job in fixing the broken tile I had reported in my safety audit for 2 months before I fell, we wouldnt be having this conversation! But my sisters in Christ have taught me...when the horse is dead...dismount...they know how I feel and their anger wasnt about was about them. Jeesh is it possible Gidgets growin up????? LOL
So its Monday morning, tomorrow is my first appointment with "Mike" my P Therapist. at 7:30 am..lets get this party started...
Today Im gonig to try tracing some fun painting patterns I found on the latest issue of Create & Decorate..Tomorrow we go shopping for my new digital pictures soon.
I hope everyone embraces this day with all they have & envelop the same excitement I feel for the fast approaching autumn...I just love love love...sweaters, sweatshirts, the aroma of burning leaves, the colors, the chilly mornings & thee best designs for fall.
ohhh me needs more coffee.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


Its never too late to be the person you want to be!

Well this morning I woke up w/ a surprize son Jordan stopped by to show us his new (to him) Chevy Low Rider Pick camera is gone....dead..bought the farm & until we purchase my new one next week..(yay me) (Yay Hubs for belated Brithday Present) I have no way to share pictures..frustrating thing that my son took pictures on his new blackberry phone thingy that does everything but heal reconstructed thumbs...& sent them to my email which I have... but dont know how to upload them to my blog....YET!

Sooo on this bright beautiful New England morning w/ the hubs working a side job, Im hopping in the shower and THEN...drumroll please...Im going to attempt tracing a fabulous "John Sliney" New England scene on an old round corner table Ronnie stripped, repainted, & distressed waiting for me to muster the strength & courage to try painting it...well today would be that day.
I have GOT to try it.
I still cant hold a spoon to feed myself w/ my right painting hand, or brush my teeth, hold a pencil etc...but I am going to try it.
I have a doctors appt. this friday to see if my hand is strong enough to begin physical therapy and or if I can go back to work/school the following Monday on the 31st of Aug....I dont know how I can even on light duty....I cant drive, cut my own meat, do any of the thousands of everyday tasks but Im expected to go back to work & oversee the entire operations of my lunchroom, do paperwork AND feed 150 students both breakfast and lunch!!!! so I am leaving all the panic & projections to God.

I feel bad that I cannot share an pictures or new projects...Ive lost blogging friends, & I cant blame anyone...I bore my self! LOL...but with a new hand, new fabric, supplies, new outlook and a new camera....Ill be coming back a new and restored artisan. I am full of new ideas, patterns, and passion to get the life Ive always dreamed of....

Im counting down the days until Ronnie, myself and another couple we invited to join us to see The Allman Brothers...whooo hoooo this coming Sunday....Ive gotta go buy a new bic that I can click for THAT rockin concert....
Goin to chase my Grace.....................................

Monday, August 17, 2009


Good Lord my Bloggin saviours...friends, commeraderie, mentors, anyone???????????????
I am a MESS!
Thank goodness for delightful surprizes such as the one I had Saturday of my little girlfriend "Enola" & her brother Mikey and Mom "Nicole" who stopped by WITH grocery bags full of BBQing goodies for us to throw on the grill...fresh ears of yellow and white corn...ohhh whats that corn called that melts in your mouth? is it sugar corn? oh well you know what I mean..short term memory is still trying to come home...LOL & beans, chicken, & I had made tuna/cucumber pasta salad that only took about 3 hours to prepare...Jeesh! with Ronnies help..he diced the celery, onion and twice cuz he made em kinda too chunky the first time..hes such a good Ronnie taught Mikey how to woodburn his first project on a small box & Mikey blew us all away with his 9 year old talent...a couple of games of horseshoes while Nicole, Enola & I chilled...well Enolas 16 months so we kinda chased her around but we had a ball.
What Im beggin for help with is....this self absorbed nightmare of boredom Im feeling while still unable to do much of anything with this albatross of a dead stump I think used to be my right hand/arm/thumb!!!! I am really STRUGGLING with being unable to do absolutely anything while still in this I see some men and women who courageously experience chemotherapy with such a spirit of grace and dignity...not me..uhhh-uhhhh..what a wus I learned I am. I hear myself complaining and thing WHAT people MUST be thinking..Ohhh POOR ME..cant do housework, cook, clean, bake, create and or decorate...has to allow her husband to serve and wait on her hand and foot..ohhh POOR KAT!!! LOL Im just sayin....I am no hero...Im quite ashamed of myself for not being able to accept and embrace this as life on lifes terms or that its temporary...
Im not a tv watcher...Ive been reading novel after novel....I come on the computer to stimulate myself and I feel more frustrated seeing all the things I cant do right now...I ended up making a mistake last week while still trying to master left/clicking.left/mouse rolling...& when I recieved an invite to upgrade my spyware/virus protection, I tried to decline but mistakingly clicked on UPGRADE NOW!!!! then I couldnt stop the madness!!!! so I finally upgraded....against my will....& then couldnt reply or send any emails recieved, nor could I delete anything in my spam box...AAARRRGHHH where in tarnation did I put the suicide hotline number?????????????????????????
so I go to the yahoo online chat techie guy "Al" (thank you so rock") and after spending 1 hour and 26 tearfilled minutes helping me land this plane.....I found out after going into the bowels of the earth in cyberland that I had to enable my javascript thingy..and I was finally fixed..Ill bet shortly lafter that little journey "Al" is probably looking desperatley for the same number for suicide prevention that I was..OR......he drank his lunch!!!! LOL
so back online suffering from blogland overdose.....grieving all the fabulous new fall/autumn decorating, creating and designing dolls that I dont see happening for me anytime in the near future...I humbly come back here to where Im loved in spite of my whining, complaining and venting...
My doctors appt. is Aug 28th to find out if Im healed enough to begin Physical therapy...and work/school begins on the following Monday the 31st...& Im pretty sure I wont be available or ready to go back to poor boss is freaking out cuz we just found out my assistant wont be returning and just quit!!! so I wont be assistant wont be there...and the kids will be thinking Im not coming back...ohhhhhhh..but I YAMMMMMM I YAMMMMM!!! arent I?
Ive been praying and expressing my heartfelt gratitude to God, that I "Have" a job, I will be healed but in His time, not mine..I have learned things about myself..some good..some well...maybe not so good, but still lessons...I have found out who my true friends have been and who have been aquaintences and Im grateful I have "them", Im clean, sober, didnt get strung out on the powerful pain meds and I have a fabulous husband who Ive fallen head over heels in love with all over again after 21 years I am still very blessed and spoiled...I just miss so many parts of my old life...and thats a good thing.
Im keeping my dear friend "Stacey" from Ravens Haven in my thoughts and prayers as she sadly lost her precious Dad last week....
I am looking forward in celebrating my birthday on Thursday the 20th with some friends and more BBQing goodies, well probably fire up our awesome new fire pit, light the tiki torches and just embrace the truely precious things in my & friends.....
I thank so many of you who have humored me, popped in on me, emailed or left encouraging and loving comments...Pam, Tina, Laura, Peanut, Cookie, my sister Ginnie, and of course Stacey.....I love you all so much. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Thank You Everyone

I want to thank everyone who have been praying for me, reaching out to me publicly and privately. I have not had... nor am I... having an easy time of healing.
Surgery was supposed to be only an hour and a half but because of the trauma from my fall, we were down under..for 4 hours.
On last Friday I had both pins removed...cast removed and an IV bag of antibiotic from a surprize infection administered. I am still however back in a soft cast w/ rods supporting my hand and lower arm straight.
I was soooo embarrassed that as the doctor was removing said pins...I ended up passed out w/ my head in doctors lap!!!!! my blood pressure dropped after seeing the tools and puckered incisions & state my poor hand is in. I thought there would only be 2 incisions, but because of the damage, he made 3...I was hoping I had literally died when I realized I passed out...the nurse was fanning me w/ my own chart and I was being encouraged to sip a small cup of water..I was praying would be arsenic. LOL
When I came home from the surgery and I was so altered from the risidual effects of anesthesia and powerful pain meds..I was convinced that my air conditioner was whispering to me..for 3 nights!!!! On Friday..the one where the crash of 09 happened...I had kept my commitment and brought back more than half of the remaining unused very addicting pain meds. It was the agreement we all had, as soon as the immediate hysterical post surgical pain went away, Id use perscribed motrin and stay focused on my recovery in sobriety.
I am struggling now with being back in a cast, mild tendon and ligament pain, my hand is so very weak, its my dominant hand so nothing but reading and hen pecking with left clicking and mouse rolling for me for another 3 weeks. Then physical therapy...Probably not in time for the beginning of the school year for me.
What was I thinking?
When I went to the doctor this Friday I was in la la land thinking Id be completely healed, cured. ready to sew, paint, cook, clean, journal, and begin a new baby afgan for my Grand daughter......Im in the same disabled state I was in days after surgery. Im working on acceptance.
I was so looking forward in rebuilding "Scaredy Kat and Her Own Crow" and creating a new falloween line I have been thinking of since all those medications that had me in a tea party in the circle of Alice and wonderland! LOL Re-establishing my life in blog land...but I guess God had other plans for me.
Ronnie deserves the key to the city,,,the award of being the bestest husband in the world...I have fallen deeply head over heels in love with him all over again after he lovingly catered, served and took tender care of me as if I were a brand newborn. I wanted for nothing...even threatened to serve me in a speedo and flip flops if I was feeling blue...he wanted me to smile...mission so accomplished!
Thank God hes doing some sidework for the first time since all this happened..he needs to get out of the house and do manly things like welding, working with other manly men...greasing up his world with what he loves doing.
Im a blessed woman.
Thank you all who have expressed such concern and encouragement as my summer and life were turned upside down.
Thankfully the healing has begun.
I missssssssssssssssssssss sewing...................... my flat iron... my make up and hairspray..I look and feel all of...well none of yer business. wwwwaaaaaaa...LOL