Monday, April 28, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Ronnie was finally absolved from bringing home "thee" UGLIEST" sofa home years ago. I actually grounded him from ever bringing anything home without my permission first! That grounding has been lifted, He has been forgiven and has once again earned his right to barter, hunt, tag sale & or flea market without me! (folks, Im not kidding, this sofa he tried talking me into all thoses years ago,was orange with BIG gold and red flowers on it and... it was velvet!!!! the only thing missing was a cheesy velvet painting of Elvis, a naked chick(w/ pointy you know whats) in the back of a van OR a bull fighter!))
I am thrilled!
Ronnie is once again a free man...
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Last Thursday evening, I smoked what I pray will be my last cigarette!!!! At 9:00 p.m.I securely put on the Nicoderm Patch, watched an hour of t.v. and went up stairs to hit my knees and thank God for my willingness, but to ask Him, any & or all of my Angels who may have my back, to please do for me what Im unable to do for myself. This nicotene addiciton is wayyyyy bigger than me.
Ronnie & I had agreed that our quit date would be this coming Friday the 18th. Yet on the way to Walmart last Thursday, I heard a loud voice in my head, which was my own voice, but clearly "not" my own idea...saying "Kat dont go home without the nicotene patch tonight, your new life begins at 9:00 p.m. TONIGHT" Now I dont care if anyone believes me or not, I know what I heard and the message was for me not you, and all due respect, if I were to make a story up about God speaking to me it would be a little more interesting and (since it would be my lie... Hed be telling me how wonderful He thinks I am...that clearly did not happen! Im always praying for obedience, more willingness, and Im always begging God to clean me, & make me pure, so after hearing what I heard...Im not about to disregard His message.
I have to be honest...The first 2 days were pure torture, even with the patch. I made the decision that if this process being my first attempt became too painful or if I felt my recovery would be comprimised by my wanting or looking for a tranquilizer or glass or 27 of wine, anything to be purchased in a bag, on the street, or needed paraphanalia other than a lighter...I would surrender to the fact that I wasnt ready, and Id try again at another time, but relapse is NOT an option and Id pick up a cigarette.
I am so very grateful that Im facing day 5 and Im still a non-smoker! Yesterday I had a couple of squirrely moments, but nothing like the previous days. I am in a place of deep spirituality because folks....I know with everything I have, this mountian has not been climbed by me, all I did was show up,... This experience has absolutely been a personalized blessing and miracle from God.
This addiction is far worse, more painful and nerve wracking than putting down heroin. (for me) The nicotene helped me get through that withdrawal. I at least had large daily monitered doses of methadone and tranquilizers to relieve me of heroin addiction...I only have 21 miligrams of nicotene going thru my system.
Nicoderm promised that it would relieve cravings for anyone who smoked 10 cigarettes a day.
Heres the thing...I did the math folks. I am ashamed to admit that I smoked at least 2 full packs of mentholated Kools a day. if 21 miligrams is for for folks smoking only 10 a day... and I smoked "at least" 40 daily, shouldnt I be using at least 3 more patches????????
Im not silly or irresponsible enough to self medicate or comprimise my health by doing things my way...after all thats what got me in these messes to begin with. I know using more than one patch a day could give me a heart attack or stroke from nicotene overdose...Im just sayin!!!!!!!
I have however been rewarded with unbelieveable blessings. It is true...your taste buds return and everything tastes so much better. (just what I need, when I struggle & over eat with the food that always tasted just mediocre)
My son Jordan (who is a non smoker and DESPISES cigarettes and smoke)actually hugged me and told me he was "so" proud of me! Hes a great guy but kinda stingy with expressing feelings or giving kudos...so this leveled me, and left me sobbing the ugly cry with tears of sweet joy.
Since Thursday night, I have saved $40.00. At the end of one year $4,200.00 & when Ronnie succeeds in quitting which I believe he will, we will double that amount and will be $8,400.00 richer!!!
I will not have to be totin around a canister of hoses and oxygen since my diagnosis of C.O.P.D. and my Mom is battling lung cancer right now and I lost my biological Dad from lung cancer.
Im not even crabby...really, Ronnie was a little worried for his well being, but even commented on how this experience has changed me...in a good way, but I was thinkin...what else could he say?????hmmmmm
My skin will look clearer and younger...YIPEE!!!!
I have all sorts of nervous energy and everything is extremely exaggerated as my 5 senses are completely tweaked to thee max! I have been cleaning and organizing like a mental case with O.C.D. Everything is brighter, smellier, louder, better, much better.
I have come to really understand & believe that I "am" a strong woman and havent stopped growing just because Im getting older. I think Im getting wizer as well.
Im not sure how this will end up, I do know that "just for today" "just for right now" Im choosing not to smoke. I sure would appreciate any prayers to keep me strong and smoke free. Thank you all in advance.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Then I thought as sick as Ive been, Id try and stay out of bed yesterday and bake my hubs the Apple Peach Pie Id promised him. It was so theraputic to create this pie. My son walked in the kitchen, saw the pie and said "Whoa...that things a monster, is it real?" Jordan knows to ask about anything I make, real? or muslin and polymer? But nothing Ive ever sewn or sculpted smelled this good!
I stayed up all day yesterday. I didnt go to the doctor on Friday since his office called in the morning to inform me that he had an emergency and needed to reschedule. Yipee...a stay of execution. At least it will buy me a few more days to get better. So I took my time & enjoyed baking, then I cleaned a little, did some laundry, and made dinner. mmmm Shepherds Pie & Salad...and later...of course, coffee, and the monster.
I also completed a gift I made a friend of mine who Im so very proud of. She and her husband are in the process of beginning the greuling, scary,but exciting process of beginning their own business. Yup....JDS Secret Pop. Jen and Dan make thee freshest most delicious flavored pop corn! Ive been the recipient of a lightly chocolate drizzled pop corn and then a caramel drizzled. Man that salty, sweet blend oh so crispy...it made me make noises in my mouth as I savored and chewed!!!! So I thought it only appropriate that I make her a little something to celebrate her new adventure. Im going to give it to her tomorrow morning, so Ill post the pictures then, since she reads my blog regularly and knows somethings being made...shes so sneaky...tries to get me to drop hints all the time!
Side note...Minnie arrived back home in Florida to her BFF Mikaela after I gave her a make over. Mikaela LOVED her new Minnie. Im so thrilled. It touched my heart to know that I took this project on even though it was outside the realm of my experience. It just proved to me, that if I put my mind to it, I can walk thru any of my fears.
Well today its pouring, & I have computer class today, then off to pay some bills, and when Ronnie comes home later tonight, we need to go to BJ's & go BIG groceries, and finally re-up on some much needed supplies so I can complete my doll order which Im 2 shy from completion. They should be Kentucky bound in another week.
Im going to invest in a jig saw. The wings on a couple of these dolls require luan wood and a jigsaw to cut them from. Ive always wanted a jig saw but couldnt justify that purchase until now.
Ive sure got alot on my list of things to do today, but Ive been down for so long, so much needs to get done. Ive been out of the loop of life, & quite frankly, I was scared. Not to die...No one gets out alive, but Im surely not ready. I have alot to learn, alot of making up to do, and the grand babies...I want to live to experience grand children. I want to be a "G.G." ( Glamorous Gramma)
So Im back... a little slow, still a little sore and a whole lotta tired...but its good to be back.
If anyone would like the recipie for this Apple Peach Pie, please feel free to email me, Ill be happy to send it to you. Its my own recipie. and DELISH!!!!