My Blog List

Thursday, November 29, 2007


The last of Theodore has been eaten. He went down in a blaze of glory in the form of homemade turkey stewp. (half stew, half soup) I wasnt able to give my elderly neighbor a donated turkey this year, as Ive done in the past, but I brought her a large pot of my stewp with 2 tubes of crackers to enjoy. When I came home the next day, she left the clean empty bowl w/ a note pad w/ kitties on it, and a small plaque celebrating friendship on my deck. How sweet is she?

I cant believe how fussy, spoiled, & ungrateful, Opie and Mr. O'Malley are. Trying to be an extra good grammie this year(I know Santas probably keeping tabs on me) so, I take the time to cook up & dice Theodores neck and gizzards, sprinkled them w/ onion powder, & a large tablespoon of fresh sausage stuffing mix, all blended together, presented as a gourmet gift of love that Rachel Ray would deem fantabulous, and Mr. O'Malley looks at me like I had 3 heads, turned his fussy nose up & runs away, so I put the bowl down for Opie, he takes a whiff...& pushes the bowl under the kitchen table w/ his nose where he tries to hide everything he doesnt want to eat. Ya...this coming from a 27 lb. cat and a dog who snacks in the litter box!!!!!! I finally put the bowl out on the deck and figured "Charlie" our resident squirrel would appreciate my efforts, and they sort of were, when I went out to retrieve the bowl on Thanksgiving morning, Charlie had licked the stuffing off the entree, & left remenants of the gizzards and neck...(.thank you Charlie). even though I think it was a "mercy lickin" No note pads or plaques from him though!

Now that Thanksgiving has passed, December is my absolute favorite time of year. On Dec.2nd, I celebrate my oldest sons birthday. I cannot wait until I can share with you what I made for him, but until he gets it in the mail, Mums the word. Hes my number one fan and reads my blog entries so I can only say I had a ball making his gift. I cannot believe my "Stinky" is going to be 27 years old. He lied to me about 23 years ago, when he was 4 and PROMISED me he would NEVER grow up...he did. I remember when he was in the U.S. Airforce and sent me photos of he and his unit in full Military Police regalia, and all I could see thru my tears of pride was his adoreable little blonde curls, and sweet face while he was sitting on the pottie, pushin for a cookie!!!!
Hes gonna kill me for sharing that, but hell completely understand someday when he becomes a parent. I enjoy reflecting on his face blowing out his candles on his favorite catterpillar cakes I used to make him each year., & then opening up his He-man action figures and tucking him in with is one legged Teela. I think our Cocker Spaniel "Mickie" disabled Teela, it was a great oppertunity to teach him the value of loving people with disabilites. And "love her" he did.

So Im in all my glory playing ALL of my Christmas music, and watching my all time favorite Christmas movie "Prancer" which has already been enjoyed.( I usually clear the room with that one) Ive begun baking my Christmas cookies, and Ive begun slowly decorating our home. I have been busy making a couple of Christmas presents, pushing my sewing machine beyond legal limits to complete projects for my upcoming show on the 8th. I completed a beautiful whimsical snowgirl Ive named "SNOWFIA" a bit of primitive, a whole lot of whimsy. I painted her face and blessed her with large clownlike eyelashes, & adorned her with a bright red Christmas "bigatzu" which is a Polish word for headband. I wear them all the time when Im creating, and sporting an old paint spattered apron....quite the site. I sent a pic of Snowfia to my friend Robby and she told me I did a great job but adamantly expressed to me that she was absolutely "ONLY PRIM" appreciater. (sorry Robby, I only follow whatever God pulls up outta me) I hope she doesnt call the prim police on me! (smile)

And prim she is. She sent me the most adoreable "very prim" star she made with a hand sewn pocket with a sprig of greenery tucked inside of it. It will grace my year round prim tree for many years to come. Thanks Robby, I love you too.

In ending this weeks entry, Im going to share with you my commitment to put more "Christ" in my Christmas and less emphasis on Santas, shopping, and fronting, all in the name of "spirit".

Maybe God felt it important to get my attention with my financial squeeze, by forcing me to HAVE to appreciate the real "spirit" of this Christmas with the elegance of simplicity. The joy of giving. The beauty of friendship and blessing each other with spirit inspired ornaments, maybe Ill attempt making my own Christmas cards this year. Ive got the supplies, Ive got the time, and Ive got the need. Im also going to work on forgiving myself, embrace some recent changes in my life, pray for employment, use my time wisely while Im not employed. Im going to give thanks for all I have. and I have MUCH.

My prayer request this week is for the immediate relief of the horrific pain Ive been in from the trauma I experienced when I was mugged 18 months ago and was kicked in my mouth. I lost 2 teeth in the top front!!!, my jaw was fractured, and a bone in my nose was cracked. So until Im able to afford the extensive repairs I need, I suffer with recurring infections every 7 or 8 months and Im incapacitated until the anti biotics and pain meds begin to work. Id appreciate all of your prayers.

Ive got neked snowmen, raggedies, and angel head make dos waiting to be completed and put on the single bed springs Ive had Ronnie diligently dismember from a twin bed we were throwing away. Ive got patterns and designs cut out and awaiting my attention. I am going to spend the day painting, baking, sewing, and healing. My "bigatzus" in place, my apron is on., the ora-gels been slathered generously and tastes yucky but Im numbed to the gills, & my lab-ora-tory of life awaits me.
I hope you all feel the beauty and importance of true spirit of Christmas, you have all improved the quality of mine.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Harvesting the Blessings

Happy Harvest...

The groceries have been purchased, "Theodore" the 23 lb. turkey is on the bottom shelf of the fridge thawing, the things to do lists are made, and invites have been out. Theodore was "free" because I had spent a certain amount of money at our grocery store during November...I wonder how "free" poor Theodore feels sitting in the bottom of my fridge!!!!! STILL,I am a happy woman.

I didnt ask for because I cook enough for an army, and I like to be surprized. Ive always done better inviting a crew of friends, and they seem to visit in twos or threes at a time. Feeling welcome with our open house, open door kind of tradition. I have invited several people from a local halfway house to join us for dinner, because I know in early recovery, sometimes the holidays are hard. Heck, I know sometimes the Holidays are hard for late bloomers as well. In the past, these men and women surround our table and then while we serve desserts, and coffee, we dim the lights, light a couple of candles, and have an informal gratitude meeting. My husband and I have been humbled many times with the amount of gut level sharing some of these often tough exteriored recovering people share from.

Im also very happy that my youngest son Jordan will be sharing dinner with us this year. Last year, I only saw him for dessert and coffee, but this year since he moved back home with us, hes MINE....ALL MINE!!!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

My oldest son will be sharing Thanksgiving w/ his wife in their new home for the first time, and although Ill miss him, Im very happy for him. Very proud, that he is a homeowner at such a young age.

Some of these people Ive invited, I havent even met, they are friends of friends who know I dont like to be without the warmth of friendship on the holidays either, so no, this has nothing to do with charity. I sent the halfway houses an open invite for either dinner and or coffee and desserts. my home is within walking distance. I just get a kick out of the end result, because we just never know who, or how the day will end, but weve never been disappointed.

I would like to share about the amazing friends I have in my life, I heard my husband yelling from downstairs yesterday while I was answering my emails, "Honnnnn????, did you order something from Kentucky????" so I came barreling down the stairs at a dangerous rate of speed speed for a woman my age....and I was getting ready to defend the fact that I couldnt afford to order anything since weve been faced with some recent changes, Ive been seeking part time employment, and I realized this heavy box wasnt anything I ordered at all. Whew.... It was a box loaded w/ prim stamps, clear acrylic blocks for the stamps, 2 back issues and one recent, of my favorite magazine, prim notecards, prim this and prim that...I felt like I was in PRIM HEAVEN!!!!!! The postage alone must have cost a Kings randsom. It was from a friend who just wanted to surprize me, and make me happy! and did she ever. I was naturally as joyful as a child on Christmas morning, unwrapping my goodies one at a time, savoring each one, but I was more touched with the fact that I have precious friends in my life, who not only mean the world to me, but I obviously mean much to them as well.

Then my friend Robby asked me if I had recieved anything in the mail from her recently? and I said "no why what did you send? and she wasnt talking!!!! hhmmm, (shes a sneaky one that one...) what did I do to deserve these friends in my life? No... really??? what did I do? I want to make sure I keep it up!!!!

So since Ill be busy job hunting, cleaning, unloading fabric, paint, and patterns, and searching for my dining room table to decorate, preparing for our Thanksgiving dinner, I wont be posting until after Thursday. I hope each and every one of you are blessed, and not just feasting on delicious homemade dinners, desserts and goodies, but feasting on the gratitude of the blessings in our lives. You are all blessings to me.

Kats Thanksgiving Menu....

Theodore...the turkey.
sausage and apple stuffing,
real mashed potatoes, w/ ranch dressing, real bacon, and sour cream.
whipped sweet potatoes
sliced apples ,yams, with marshmallow topping
cranberry sauce served in hallowed out oranges
fresh green bean casserole
hot dinnerrolls

homemade apple pie ala mode
boston cream pie
pumpkin pie
chocolate cream pie
and coffee. lots of coffee.

The only presents required, is your presence...and stretch pants!!!!!

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Happy Giving Thanks!

Thanksgiving is one week from today. Yet that doesnt mean I dont feel a spirit of Giving Thanks "every day". I think you all know, "who" and "what" I am so very thankful for...Living a life that has been spared time and time again, keeps me on my knees thanking God every morning and each night for blessing me with a daily reprieve to live my life with a spirit of excellence, & the "well" that supplies me with gratitude keeps me compelled to give back to the very best of my ability. It is not an obligation, it is a privilidge.

When youve lost precious people, places, and things in your life, and then being blessed with a second and hundredth chance to do it all over again & rebuild, you tend to get up and honor God, the Universe, and the mentors who believed in you on that journey back to the living.

One of those mentors Id like to share with you is a woman Ill call "Mary" .It seems fitting that in this season of giving, that I share with you what this one woman God has done has done just by being obedient to God when He didnt just whisper to her, but kind of insisted that she reach out to me. Mary giggles and teases me when she shares this w/ me, she says, she said to God..".Are you sure Lord, that you want me to open my heart to this one? and maybe not someone else??? someone "not" so difficult?" "Nope the Lord said...Your assignment is to take Kat with her broken self & love her back to life"...and did she ever. She expressed to me years later when I questioned her as to why she took such a risk w/ me? why did she believe in me? and she said, she "didnt" believe in "me" at first, she believed in "God" first. Then she humbly replied, that sometimes loving the seemingly unloveable, unapproachable, or really lost, is what real lovers of Christ do, she said helping, loving, and guiding... happy, joyous and free people are easy, almost like preaching to the choir. What a valueable lesson for me. This is soooo true.

I came to Mary so untrusting, rough, angry, scarred, labeled, sick and suffering, and pummeled with issues of post traumatic stress disorder from the abuses I suffered from my childhood and then situations I had put myself in from the throes of addiction.

Every Wednesday morning for the last 3 years, I went to her office for an ahour and a half. She never charged me, judged me or put conditions on me. Each visit was only contingent on my continued sobriety. and Im not going to bore you w/ the blow by blows of our journey, and its to personal and precious to share anyway, but for those of you who know me, its no secret that Im commited to giving back all Ive been touched with, Ive been blessed w/ the unbelieveable gift of finding the passion of creating, sewing and painting, and have a love for whimsical and primitive art that probably borders on unhealthy.

I have been blessed with the miracle of healing through Gods mercy, and amazing grace and my message today is that when we follow Gods will in our lives, even when we would rather follow our own, that lives are touched, blessed, and beautiful wings are grown. Butterflies are born and Katerpillars die. So I thank Mary for giving me a part of her spirit, time, and treasures. One of the reasons I am so commited to rebuilding my life, and constantly pushing myself and improving it, is to Honor the women just like Mary who have believed in me when I didnt.

Well Im a part of another swap...A Christmas Swap. OOHHHH Im so excited, because my partner loves snowmen, raggedies,& salt box houses...My sewing machine has been smokin. Im also filling a couple of orders for Christmas gifts, & making a few of my own, Im making lots of primsical, & whimitive goodies to sell. Im in a craft fair on Dec. 8th, so Im in my glory, & working hard to build an inventory that will hopefully make people want to decorate their homes for the holidays and surprise their loved ones with a couple of my designs and there any better kind of pressure????

Im planning my shopping list and menu for our Thanksgiving dinner. My youngest son Jordan, has moved back home last Friday to help save for another car, since someone felt evil enough to steal his. So Im not an empty nester WWWHHOOO WHHOOOO. he actually asked if I had anything to do with his car being stolen. LOL. Im a little sad that my oldest son wont be home for this holiday but Im also thrilled that he and his wife are celebrating these upcoming holidays in their brand new home. How very exciting. Im going to ask Santa to bring me more big girl panties, Ive been having to wear my old ones an awful lot this past year.

My wish for all of you on this season of giving thanks, is that you all feel the beautiful presence of God, or Your Higher Power in your lives and feel much peace. I wish for you much health, uncommon favor, abundance, and mindblowing miracles, as Miss Blondie says" may you be embarrassed w/ blessings" I pray that were all open to believing that "we already have all we need". "That we all "want" what we already have". Im usually to caught up in wanting what I dont have rather than thanking God for all I do have. Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours....

Thursday, November 8, 2007

What A Wonderful Life!

That was our wedding song...What A Wonderful Life. 11 years ago today, I was up at 4:15 frying eggplant, onions & peppers, trying to organize one of the many platters of food I was cooking and preparing for our 68 guests to enjoy, later that day, occasionally checking the dripping"Blazing Cinnamon" haircolor piled high on my spiky locks, a strip of color on each eyebrow to keep it all natural! HA!!!! (There hasnt been anything natural on this kid since the 70s!!!!) I was 15 minutes late for our wedding...did you actually think I wouldnt have shown up???? (rabid pitbulls wouldnt have kept me from my handsome groom that day!)

Anyway, I was buzzin around my kitchen really too busy to have been doing what I should have been doing, which was thanking God in advance for blessing me with this man in which I was about to embark on one of the wildest journeys in my life. Eleven married years but 18 together. God knows how grateful I am for this man who has relentless amounts of energy, enthusiasm for life, and his continued commitment to do the best he can loving me...whats a few facial twitches?

Im sure anyone who knows Ronnie and or I (personally) are probably thinking... WHAT???? Its not all been Nirvana or Bliss. And theyre right, besides, who doesnt occasionally feel like smothering their significant other while he sleeps peacefully, after a night of arguing about whos right, wrong, or to blame???? No "hot monkey, make up, sex" for us.... but the blessing for me, is that were still together. Not for the kids....theyre gone...not for the house...we dont own one...not for the money...we dont have any! I also remember a few years ago when physical seperation had been necessary, I think most people grieved as much as we had. When we were ready, Ronnie and I had made the commitment to put forth any energy and hard work into maintaining, & improving our marriage rather than the draining energy & heartbreak it would take to physically leave, establish 15 years worth of closure, and then START ALL OVER AGAIN being single???...Oh no... besides... Im not nearly done driving him crazy with my "Lucy Moments" "Reality check for Kat"... Who would put up with my messy and always missing dining room table thats disappeared under piles of fabric, thread, paints and supplies? Who would know instinctively to slam on the brakes when were driving, and there are a gazillion perfect pinecones,& thistles, to be rescued, or a piece of bark that looks like a Santa or Snowman head? Who would patiently drive me to a folk art craft show in the blinding snow, when he came home for a hot sandwhich, coffee,& tylenol, while plowing? My husband... thats who.

Ronnie is 6feet 4inches tall, has long brown & recently peppered hair kept in a long braid, or pony tail, has tattooed sleeved arms, wears a skull cap, jeans, work boots, and a black leather jacket, & is told all the time he resembles actor "Steven Segal" (without the bloated face)...on Steven not Ronnie! LOL
Hes half Lakota Sioux & his high cheekbones, & twinkling eyes have gotten both into, and out of alot of trouble in our relationship! I envy his spirit of expectancy, and that natural part of his personality that keeps him constantly laughing & smiling, even when there isnt much to smile about. His love for Jesus & life just shines through his eyes. He asks me all the time when Im a doubting Thomas..."Do you know who my Daddy Is?"All is well in Ronnies world.

I used to think wed never see our first 5 years, its no secret there was alot of painful times before we both surrendered and accepted Gods mercy, love, & amazing grace. We courageously made the conscious decision to change our lives, & then we both commited to the long healing process from addiction. I believe God rewards effort, and man, have we been blessed. BEYOND our wildest dreams have we been touched. There isnt a scientific reason I can think of as to why either of us should be alive, and or together...never mind unwrapping this wild ride of life.

I believe age has also mellowed us. We love a very simple lifestyle. Its a good thing we both love primitive...Id be screwed if I was as passionate for a contemporary expensive decorating style!

We are both nuts over flea market finds, tag sales, or thrown away goodies orphaned on the curb awaiting the garbage truck! We drag it home, clean it, strip it, paint it, distress it, and make it worthy again and give it a second chance to bless someone....hhhmmm, kind of like what God did with us!!!! Sometimes Ronnie will find a piece that just "calls" him to woodburn it. He had such a "calling" recently when he took an old oval end table, & worked his magic on it .He burned a magnificent, kick ass Harley Davidson on this table...I know our home is completely Olde American, but if it doesnt sell, it will grace a corner of the bedroom, w/ the rest of our Native American collectables, & aniques. He a phenomenal artist and a professional welder/fabricator and is planning on designing and welding funky holiday lawn ornaments! I cannot wait until he unleashes those unbridled ideas.

So Happy Anniversery Ronnie. I thank you for not giving up when anyone else would have bailed, and have, I never had to worry about what your ass or elbows looked like, you were always by my side, loving me, supporting, encouraging me, researching the variety of medical diagnosis' Ive suffered with, all the business risks I took, some good, some not so good, always celebrating, or embracing whatever crazy idea I have had about carrying the message or helping another addict seeking recovey, usually at the most inconvenient of times, you understood thats why they were called crisis'. Weve stood on many street corners handing out sandwhiches, cigarettes, and resource numbers, with hopes of saving another brother or sister, from this devestating & potentially fatal disease of addiciton. I love the way you love.

Thank you for loving our 2 sons as if they were your own flesh and blood. They adore you too. They always came to you first, when they were in trouble. I dont blame them, you were always so calm, non judgemental, and always offered a solution, before I ever knew what was going on. You provided them with the cushion, when I was busy being the hysterical Mom. Thank you for being such an amazing grampa to our furbabies "Opie" & Mr. O'Malley who thrive for your affection when all you want to do is come home ,have your coffee and take them boots off. Off to the park you go for Opies daily constitutional. I thank you for being my number one fan when I create anything. When I recently woke you up from a sound sleep all excited to show you that 3 of my painted projects were included on a famous artists website...I asked you if you wanted my did! (God I love you)
Dolls, body parts, snowmen, and paint come sometimes long before dinner does, and still you look at me with all the wonder in your heart, and you melt mine...time and time have made my life... a wonderful life.