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Sunday, September 28, 2008

Kats Mom

My mom passed away peacefully tonight at 6:oo pm.
It was thundering and lightening and as Ronnie shared, it was absolutely her spirit saying goodbye as she entered the gates of Heaven.
I thank you all for your encouragement, support and love which was detrimental to my sobriety during thee most painful journey. I would appreciate continued prayers for my sobriety, and family as we face this devestating time.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Chicken soup for the soul...

Edward scissor hands!!!!
Look at Moms new bedroom, new bed, and ohh la la... beautiful girlee thats comfort for the soul. Yoo hoo!!!! Im up here! wheres my coffee??? Ok can you say SPOILED???

Lil Sandy(yorkee-poo) helpin himself to Auntie Kats soup-erb chicken noodle!

I made a huge pot of homemade chicken noodle soup for my Mommas soul....she hasnt been able to keep much more down other than cereal, or an occasional bagel, nothing much with color, but when she said she was craving some chicken noodle soup....I was on it!

She did really good, she ate more than 3/4s of the medium size bowl we brought up to her room, but before she got done...she had a little helper....

Ronnie & I went over to Moms yesterday to spend some time with Mom. Ronnie completed the landscaping, weeding, clipping, and manicuring her lawn, & I was inside breaking down her sewing room so we could move her downstairs so she didnt have to climb them everytime she had to go to the bathroom. 4 hours later, a new twin bed and beautiful Laura Ashley quilt my sister bought for her...she had her new digs.

Emotions were running high so when it got too hot in the kitchen so to speak...I listened to my therapist, sponsor, & network of s/heros and took off outta Dodge.

It was so good to please Mom, spend some time with her, take pics, and be a part of...

Ive been so busy and excited looking for new houses to rent, I start one of my new jobs tomorrow, which I will be a lunch lady!!!The other job is working at a local craft supply store, they havent set up my hours yet but told me I did get the job...that will be for nights and weekends.

I would be so appreciative if youd all be willing to continue praying for me,& our family.
I need prayers for strength, courage, peace and willingness to breathe when sometimes the pain is so intense, Im convinced I cant catch my breath. I have a network of amazing and wild, wild, women behind me walking with me. Breathing for me. I love you all so very much.

I have a list of folks Id like to pray for, if you have any needs, desires, miracles, praises, or blessings needed for yourself, family or friends, please leave a comment so I can include them in my prayer time..It would be a privilidge to be a part of prayer intercession.
Heres mine...

~~My Moms process be a painfree, fear free, and peaceful, as she seeks Gods Presence.

~~My sobriety and strength to continue doing the next right thing.

~~An affordable, beautiful house to rent with a landlord who wont do a credit check and will allow small pets.( asap) Im gonna even ask for a nice neighborhood, or out in the country, just away from Dodge or this Heartbreak Hotel!

~~My Sisters peace of mind, and may she find the healing she so desperately needs right now.

~~My entire family whos going thru this loss, may we all gather together to be a witness to Gods love for Mom and eachother.

~~My sister Ginny, ( Hi baby!) whos going thru such painful dental issues and Im praying for a new job that will be peaceful, and where shes celebrated and rewarded with all shes worth. Of course her family too and my 6 nephews!!!

~~My friends MJ and Ruby who recieved devestating news about MJs cancer. Lord please lift these friends with healing, peace, and hope.
I dont believe in miracles...I rely on them!

~~All of my friends on a recovery site that has literally been saving my sanity, life & surrounding me with supernatural support. (Thank you Jesus) some of my spiritual possee is over there.
~~Mrs. D. who needs a miracle healing for her eyes.
~Karen who continues to believe in me. She constantly prays with and for me while I cross this path. I came to her as a broken child, and with her faith, Gods love, and and some of my own effort, I am growing into all God wants me to be.

~~Miss Ruth, Blondies precious Momma who recently began chemo therapy.


~~~I pray for my blogging community, all the women on it, all the sick and suffering who need hope and healing. I love you all so much.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Katerpillar no more...

I decided with great
care to birth this blog back in November of last year, with a powerful and significant name. I prayed and thought about it for a long time. I finally felt God was as pleased as I was, when I finally realized there would only be one name... Katerpillars no more.

For me, as I explained when I introduced myself to all of you in Blog land, that I was once indeed a caterpillar before I was led to my cocoon for my "metamorphis" as a worm, who wasnt much of anything but lost, in a dark place with alot of (legs/desires), but no where to go. The alcohol and drugs kept me a worm, kept me alone...until I burst free from the dark, dank, kinda dirty, lonely, cocoon and was so thrilled to see I had bright color, I had strong, defined lines (implying direction), I had wings to fly anywhere I wanted to, make people smile, make better choices, flutter around touching people, being touched myself...I was rocked and so humbled to find God had performed yet another miracle and a butterfly had been reborn.

That butterfly was me.

"Katerpillar no more"

I understand & believe with all I have, all that I am, that I can never go back to being that caterpillar. It may die, but can never go back to where it came from.

So...I journal this to remind myself as I prepare to say goodbye to my precious Mom who has blossomed with her own wings since this cancer attacked her body, but never once her spirit, not her courage, and what the devil meant for evil, God turned into good. See when I made amends and accepted hers and forgiveness, and healing had begun, that was when my emotional cancer had died.

I need to remember that with all the blessings, all the beautiful moments, memories being made, amends being made, friendships being restored, some especially new, "that" I must always remember that I have strong wings that can carry me to freedom, I have color now, and defined direction, divine guidence, I can fly with other butterflies, when any cravings or devils come to me draped in the form of relief, from this deep pain I am feeling now, as we say good bye, express our love and thanks, that I can never go back to being a worm again.

I am a butterfly.

I am asking that if you see me limping while I fly, to please offer to fly... not "for" me but "with" me.

Ive been keeping busy, Ive been house hunting, and lots of creating as fall fast approaches us. id like to share with you a pillow that I stitched and appliqued. I found the original pattern out of a Cretae & Decorate magazine, and forgive me I cant think of the artists name...until I go back into my issues, (and we all know I have issues!) and find the artists name, if any of you know , I sure would appreciate it if ya left a comment. I am still learning & trying to tweak my time management...Thanks for your patience. I am just THRILLED with the outcome. I never realized how much I enjoyed applique. I am also determined to learn how to needled punch all the projects I dream of completing that Ive been collecting. I have all the materials to begin...all (but the courage). I am intimidated big time...I also included a witches hat I had fun making. I have several ready for sale, but just included one I embellished last night.

I miss visiting so many of the regular blogs I used to have the time to read, catch up on and leave comments. I am a little preoccupied and so busy.

Thanks everyone who have called me, prayed, emailed and even sent cards. I believe that it is only the spirit and love of friendship that will help me walk thru this difficult and painful time with my sobriety, integrity and grace in tact. I love you all so much...Big cyber hugs(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kat)))))))))))))))))))

Monday, September 8, 2008

Bienvenido Otono= Welcome Fall!

I finally completed a surpize gift for my DILs Parents Welcoming Fall.
Not the dream catchers...The Scarecrow...arrgh someday Ill figure out how to upload under the correct post!!

They took me about 3 days of picking up, drying, sanding, staining, repainting, & sewing additions to them. Ill have the kids drop them off for them folks at some point this week. it was a pleasure to feel inspired to surprize these wonderful people becuase they just touched my heart at the kids wedding and again recently, on my birthday when they had a huge vase of gorgeous flowers delivered on my birthday. Talk about as my friend Cathy says..."making my guts happy!"
So since Ive been going thru such a painful time preparing to say goodbye to my Mom as she loses her battle to this cancer, and going thru some personal growing pains myself, doing something just to surprize such a nice family, just takes me out of myself.

My husband has also been quite busy as he made 2 recovery dream catchers for a couple of my close freinds who I cannot disclose to incase they happen to read this...but they are so bright and looking at them just takes my breath away. Please let me know what you think, he will be tickled to read any feedback. These dream catchers have medallions on top of each piece between the placement of feathers. Look up please!

My Moms cat scan didnt provide positive results, we were told that in terms of time, we can expect to have her only 3-6 months before we need to say good bye.
How am I going to EVER be able to do this you guys????????

I want to thank so many of you who have kept her and our family held high in prayers. Last September when she was diagnosed, we were told she wouldnt have the year, sooo the prayers, the chemo and my Moms courage and strength have well surpassed that time line, and we all accept this is all in Gods precious time. I do ask that you continue praying for us.

For all those of you who continue asking about my friend Matt and his beautiful family...well new pictures to come this Saturday as theyve agreed to show up for a cookout Ronnie & I are planning to have so I can personally thank the beautiful network of family and friends who have supported me, and never given up on me as I celebrate a milestone in my personal walk in my life in recovery thats been altered radically & spiritually by having you in my life as well.

Although Ive been in recovery and been clean and sober for quite awhile, I dont count those several months before Sept 13th 03. I legally celebrate this date in particular because it is on this day of a personal spiritual awakening that I surrendered completely, began working the 12 steps, began working with my therapist, and allowed God to truely open my heart and let freinds in and my creativity out! so I want to embrace this day with family & friends who have walked with me on my journey that helped me become this work in progress.! Thank you Jesus. Thank you you family & friends who have held me up and believed that I could do some of this growing up that I was convinced was too late to do...the devil is a liiiiaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!
On my personal prayer list of requests and praises Id like to start by humbly coming before God and asking Him to continue keeping me clean and sober so I may better serve Him and anyone else trying to stop drinking and using mind altering drugs.
I ask that you lift my Mom while she prepares to come home to you. I ask that you help her to feel your loving Presense and relieve her of any and all pain and fear.
I ask that you bless the following family & friends:
Ronnie, David, Lana, Jordan, Noelia, Sal, Candy, Ginny, Thomas, Cathy,Sue, Miss Ruth, (Blondies Mom) Mrs. D. my therapists Mom, Quinnie aka Mike,
All of my blogging community and friends according to their needs.
Melanie, my my sober friends on S24.
I pray for affordable, non credit checking, and small pet allowing, housing...
I pray for part time employment or potential sales for my business "Scaredy Kat FolkHeart"
I thank you for all that I have, and especailly for what I dont have, all Im promised and all that you put in my path to touch, guide or love.
I thank you for the lost and the amazing Grace that they may be found...I thank you for loving me when I know I wasnt always that easy to love.
Please feel free to add your own praises or prayer requests and Id be honored to include that your needs me met.
Have a blessed day. Live it like tomorrow may not come....