My Blog List

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Katerpillar no more...

I decided with great
care to birth this blog back in November of last year, with a powerful and significant name. I prayed and thought about it for a long time. I finally felt God was as pleased as I was, when I finally realized there would only be one name... Katerpillars no more.

For me, as I explained when I introduced myself to all of you in Blog land, that I was once indeed a caterpillar before I was led to my cocoon for my "metamorphis" as a worm, who wasnt much of anything but lost, in a dark place with alot of (legs/desires), but no where to go. The alcohol and drugs kept me a worm, kept me alone...until I burst free from the dark, dank, kinda dirty, lonely, cocoon and was so thrilled to see I had bright color, I had strong, defined lines (implying direction), I had wings to fly anywhere I wanted to, make people smile, make better choices, flutter around touching people, being touched myself...I was rocked and so humbled to find God had performed yet another miracle and a butterfly had been reborn.

That butterfly was me.

"Katerpillar no more"

I understand & believe with all I have, all that I am, that I can never go back to being that caterpillar. It may die, but can never go back to where it came from.

So...I journal this to remind myself as I prepare to say goodbye to my precious Mom who has blossomed with her own wings since this cancer attacked her body, but never once her spirit, not her courage, and what the devil meant for evil, God turned into good. See when I made amends and accepted hers and forgiveness, and healing had begun, that was when my emotional cancer had died.

I need to remember that with all the blessings, all the beautiful moments, memories being made, amends being made, friendships being restored, some especially new, "that" I must always remember that I have strong wings that can carry me to freedom, I have color now, and defined direction, divine guidence, I can fly with other butterflies, when any cravings or devils come to me draped in the form of relief, from this deep pain I am feeling now, as we say good bye, express our love and thanks, that I can never go back to being a worm again.

I am a butterfly.

I am asking that if you see me limping while I fly, to please offer to fly... not "for" me but "with" me.

Ive been keeping busy, Ive been house hunting, and lots of creating as fall fast approaches us. id like to share with you a pillow that I stitched and appliqued. I found the original pattern out of a Cretae & Decorate magazine, and forgive me I cant think of the artists name...until I go back into my issues, (and we all know I have issues!) and find the artists name, if any of you know , I sure would appreciate it if ya left a comment. I am still learning & trying to tweak my time management...Thanks for your patience. I am just THRILLED with the outcome. I never realized how much I enjoyed applique. I am also determined to learn how to needled punch all the projects I dream of completing that Ive been collecting. I have all the materials to begin...all (but the courage). I am intimidated big time...I also included a witches hat I had fun making. I have several ready for sale, but just included one I embellished last night.

I miss visiting so many of the regular blogs I used to have the time to read, catch up on and leave comments. I am a little preoccupied and so busy.

Thanks everyone who have called me, prayed, emailed and even sent cards. I believe that it is only the spirit and love of friendship that will help me walk thru this difficult and painful time with my sobriety, integrity and grace in tact. I love you all so much...Big cyber hugs(((((((((((((((((((((((((((Kat)))))))))))))))))))


Countryfolk Keepsakes said...

Sounds like your doin' just fine darlin'. You are a butterfly. :> )

Renna said...

The pillow is darling, Kat, as are you. :-)

Citygirl-Em said...

Hey, I am so sorry to hear about your mom....I hope you will be okay. Your work is beautiful. Isn't it wonderful how we can use our hands as therapy to work stuff out of our heads? Creating right now is the best thing you can do. It will enable you to keep your hands working, while your mind sorts it all out.

Keep your chin are doing great!

Tina said...

Kat, during any given day, God brings you to mind and I think fondly of you and always think of this couragous blog friend He has allowed to cross my path. it's always an inspiring and encouraging place to visit at your blog.
You are flying so well

Great pillow work

Kat said...

Unbelievably Gorgeous Post!!....(and yes, almost eery concidering what we've shared recently elsewhere...) I'm so blessed to be fluttering around this vast field with the likes of you!

That pillow has a cuteness factor that's off the scales, and seriously want to know the price range of those witchy hats....yes, seriously! Lemme know, Lovie!

((((((((((HUGE HUGS))))))))),
Ima Notherkat

BuTT UgLee said...

Miss Kat
I have checked your blog everyday to see when you would come back. You and you mom are in my prayers. I loved reading this last post. You are brave.

I understand the time management thing. It is hard to stay away from the computer. I could be there all day.

Just know that i am thinking of you and have never stopped even if i have not been good at keeping in touch.

good vibes are coming your way!