Angels dont always have wings!

Meet my friend Pogo.

Pogos daddy is Steve aka "INKER" who is our very talented tattoo artist and very close friend. He been mine for about 18 years, my hubs knew him WAYYYY back in the day.

Anyway, Steve has an addiction and passion for art, recovery (I have his permission to tell you that, Im not breaking his anonymity) good times, fine women....oh yeah and pitbulls!

Lets see theres Pogo, Jake, & Lucy. "Just for today". Steve saves these babies and finds them homes or comes home with him to foster if he or the Sadie Mae Foundation cant, rather than the inevidable euthenasia, gives them second chances at life. Pogo was originally one of his past flames(I meant Pogos mommy was, not Pogo) (hed kill me if I didnt clarify that & ya cant piss your tatty artist off, not when theres still work left for him to do on your arm) but when that didnt work out, she left Pogo with Steve. Thank God for that because Pogo is an amazing dog who I believe is being used to inspire people "ok, me"... who dont believe in their own power of inner spirit, strength and courage.

You see, in the photo of the Pogster, you see hes bandaged up. "NO" he didnt get a tattoo, although thats what we usually look like upon leaving Steves studio, I did yesterday... but Pogo is recovering from an amputated limb. Only a little more than a month ago, Steve became concerned of an awful open wound that wasnt healing on his leg,( Pogos not his) even after several vet visits, medications, lampshades on his neck, (Pogos, not Steve), (at least not since Steves been in recovery)... (that I know of) but Pogo wasnt healing, the infection wasnt responding to the antibiotics. So they came to the devestating decision that to save Pogos life, his front leg would have to be removed!!!

I watch Animal Planet & the success & recovery rate for amputee dogs is pretty amazing, but would Pogo who isnt quite a puppy in age fare his new disability? Oh boy talk about prayer intersession, I had his photo with the old rosarys hangin around it, sprayed with Holy water, lit white candles, and stocked up on big chippies for his recovery, & claimed Pogos healing.

Well yesterday as I pulled myself out of bed, sick w/ depression myself, I knew I had another sitting for work on a tattoo Steve was blessing me with for having "been there" for him(concerning the dogs and a huge fenced in pen, several hours, sore backs and lots a laughs) awhile back (& since I never say no to INKERS tattoos) I went 3 weeks ago for my first 4 hour visit, I felt so sad for Pogo, he was laying on the studio sofa, gooned out of his mind on tranquilizers and phentynal patches for pain, drooling...(Pogo not me) (well maybe a little envy for the meds) but he was so listless and he was all bandaged up hiding drains, and the staples and swollen parts of his painful experience, and those sad eyes.... and I left there 3 weeks ago wondering if it was all worth the pain and fear, and loss of spirit? Well God is Good folks, as if you didnt already know that. When I was waiting for my appt. yesterday, Pogo was pulling up in his daddys car, All excited to see his Auntie Kat,& Uncle Ronnie, as he came "barreling" & I mean BARRELING out of his daddys car trying to show me his bandage free boo boo, OH THANK YOU JESUS!!!! Lord I was weepin away! he was hoppin around....drug free...spirit filled... & other than a goofy limp, he had more spirit in him than he did before this scary ordeal.

I thought immediately "Thank you Lord, thank you for blessing me with Pogos spirit of tenacity, hope of healing"...as Iwatched him romp around, playing with his Uncle Ronnie, I thought thank you for the message Lord that you presented to me about never giving up when I sometimes want to....thank you for showing me how (thru Pogo) that as long as you never underestimate the power of love and hope, and Gods mercy...theres gonna be healing AND a great "rawhide chippy" at the end of it all. I thought...wow... Angels dont always come with wings...I wanted you to meet one of mine!

Goodbye lil buddy!

I had more fun creating this lil wabbit for a swap partner for an Easter Swap...Whatcha think? Here are the rest of the goodies I sent Kelly in Mossirie(O.M.G. the sp how far did I go to school? 2 blocks??????) isnt there a u in there somewhere? thank goodness I had the correct spelling of this tricky state or this old friend Im wishin a safe trip to, would be returning to me!(MY BAD)

I made her a little pinkeep that I cross stitched, & I painted 3 wooden eggs, a bunny ornapin that can be worn on a lapel or hung on an ornie tree or bowl filler, a small painted pillow w/ a Terrye French design, a painted & quilted mini flag from a designer I found & LOVED in C&D a couple of years ago, some cutie notepads w/ a vintage design on them, a card, and some jelly beans and chocolate eggs I had to hide from the hubs. I really hope she gets a kick out of her goodies, cuz I sure had a blast making them. I am a CERTIFIED swap addict. and proud of it. I have several treasures from this past year.

well Ive got some studying of spelling the states to do.... Moussierie? Mossery?Mosourri?????

I came back to edit this....it was killing me to be so dang ignorant....MISSOURI...(I LOOKED IT UP!!!!!)

Please Join Me!!!!!

Please join me as I battle whatever negative spirit that is trying its hardest to keep me down. I started out just having the flu...normal yucky coughing, sore throat, stuffy & rediculously swollen head (not ego, just boogs) & an upper respiratory viral infection that anti biotics wont help, (only time, bed rest and prayers) so I sound like a pitbull but have the strength of a tea cup poodle.

Then as I began to hope that I was feeling a little better, and managed to stay up & out of bed for a couple of hours, at a clip & survive the angry shower spray, not soothing but pummeling my fever sensitive skin....change into clean sweats and a tee, I realized as Im now well into a 3 weak period that Im not just battling the flu but because my immune system has been pulvarized...Im slap in the middle of a horrendous Hep C flare up! Now I wish I was "only" suffering from the flu!

Folks, Im not normally a complainer, Im usually quite the trooper, prayer warrioring (is that even a word?) patient, "hep c patient" and I spend several of my days in physical pain that I have long accepted & surrendered to. But THIS...THIS is scaring me. Ive had smaller flare ups before, sometimes lasting only 3 weeks, then Im up and attem again, but THIS...THIS time, Im really scared. My fear is based from not just the indescribable fatigue and physically draining weakness from exhaustion, nausea & morbid sadness, but this time, Im being attacked with a depression that I REFUSE to take part in. Yet I know its chemical, & although temporary, Im not going to remain victim to the impulsivity and danger of comprimising my recovery...for anything. I will not end up hospitalized for this, been there, done that ....even got the hideous leather braided key chian we made in recreational therapy!!!!!

So Im asking you to join me in prayer, to believe in me, claiming healing and victory over this dis-ease in my mind, body, & spirit. I publicly promise to you...and to God that when I am healed, I will commit to helping other women who are plagued with this debilitating depression that is so much more than pulling myself up from my bootstraps, expressing gratitude for all I have, and going out for a walk....Depression has got to be thee most misunderstood and shame based disease that sometimes our uneducated society, family and even our well intended friends think theyre supporting us with, sends out a message to keep us quiet and immeshed in what we already feel ashamed about.

I am being faced with the public and personal promise I made to you, myself, husband & God that while I made the decision to resign from my job a few weeks ago, that Id commit to my healing. The time is now. I did the draining footwork yesterday and was blessed with the info that I am now medically insured and can finally find a doctor, & begin the process of the dreaded liver biopsy, and then the interfuron & incorporated chemo treatments. Sometimes they are successful sometimes patients are unresponsive, any of which is not my job...my job is only the footwork, doing whats natural and God will take care of the outcome...He will do the supernatural.

Until then, I will follow my dear friend Blondies strong advise and continue walking...no matter what...I will keep walking, for I know Ill never walk alone.

I will not fall prey to the negativity that tells me how Im dying and havent left a single stamp in my place in this world, or that Im stupid, and deserve this shameful demise....The devil is a liar. I can only imagine the wild plans God has in store for me in order to inspire the negative spirits just awaiting to destroy the promise in me.

When I began this blog last November, I made the commitment that I wouldnt just celebrate the miracles and joys of sewing, painting, & my moving mountains with my learning disabilities on this box called a computer, or creating "happy' things, but that Id utilize this time,& space to use my voice and as Oprah encourages us to "use our lives". to teach, inspire, Touch others...improve and make a difference in ourselves & others. I thank you in advance to any & all of you who take part and time in praying for my healing and my restoration...

BESIDES!!!!!I have to get better, this morning Sherrie from Symple Thymes so generously invited me to be a part of "The Artisan Chronicals Guild" What an oppertunity to network meet new friends & artists, reconnect with some old (as in time not age) I will post the info in a couple of days when I know more myself.

thank you Peanut...

PEANUT!!!!!You so rock my teaching sister. This is the first time Ive been able to take direction (online) without someone sitting over my shoulder showing me how to use this dang box...or bribing me with chocolate... or bye bye in the car to the fabric store.

Man you guys you just have nooooo idea...if you asked me what I was tickled with more....being able to download this blog award from Peanuts blog to my own like a big girl? or that Peanut thought me worthy of this awesome "You make my day award" Im not sure I could...but I have to say..Im pretty darn proud of myself over this one. I think Ive even made my own day...of course with Peanuts help!!!! Does it get any better than this???? Oh man, I hope not, Im not sure I could handle the excitement after shoveling our snowfall this morning. My hearts already pounding with excitement. Oh I have to go wake my hubs up from his "after work... before dinner... after shoveling ...nap"!!!!....hes GOT to see this one! TEEEEEE HHHEEEEE!!! I SO ROCK!!!!! YOU DO TOO PEANUT...Ill be back in a little bit, Ive got to savor this and show off anyone in a 5 mile radius...Ive gotta go.....oooohhhh wait...Im gonna go try this same thing on Blondies blog, she gave me an artsy award about 10 days ago, but I couldnt figure this out and was busy pouting.....GOTTA GO!!!! LOVE YA!

Ok, now Im just showin off!!!!! I cant even begin to process all of this NIRVANA....I will explain Miss blondies award she recieved from her friend Donna and then passed to me and several other heavy hitters in a day or too, but youll all understand if I just let the smoke settle a little.? I just wanna marinade in my award glory for a minute....

My ability to still learn and take direction, which I owe all my thanks to Peanut from Countryfolk Keepsakes...I humbled myself and emailed her today to ask for her help.

She wrote me back immediately, thee most loving letter with the easiest directions to master this ....and she never made me feel ashamed of asking or intruding on another woman who has a busy life of her own, although I offered her an out, but not Peanut woman.... she still preferred to "give" to me and give she did. Once again, you have touched me beyond words could say. AND you believed in me. I owe ya sistah...well kids...Im feelin mighty...well mighty... right about now, Im goin outside to ask my son if he needs "me" to pull that engine hes been workin on for 2 days!!!! OH YAH!!!!

MERCANTILE GATHERING MAGAZINE!!!!!

I am soooo happy to be able to share with you what I consider to be the MOTHER LOAD of primitive treasures.

Now...most artists,. artisans, crafters, or home improvers, myself included are just out of control and addicted to our favorite periodicals, or otherwize known as "magazines"

A couple of my "have to haves" or "hunt down, & were not going home until I get one in my hands" (husband in tow) are "Create & Decorate" Mary Englebriets "Home Companion" & of course "Country Sampler" When the "Country Marketplace" went out of business a couple of years ago...I was in mourning for months. BUT PRIMITIVE LOVERS....for those who have never heard of "MERCANTILE GATHERING MAGAZINE" allow me to turn you on.

This magazine promises to delight you with primitive stories, Prim shoppes in and out of your area, patterns, primitive homes, page after page of eye candy...I will not be responsible for any drooling that may occur. It makes available an amazing oppertunity to advertize your own business, meet other primitive artists, and perhaps network and expand your own passions.

Mercantile Gathering Magazine has patterns and inspires countless womenfolk like myself to want to attempt new projects or tweak your own passions, such as Rug Hooking, Needle punching, Doll making, stitching, quilting, sewing, painting, applique, decorating ideas for shoppes, homes, and gardens, doll sculpting, sign making.....lions and tigers and bears ohh my!!!!!!

Please treat yourself and go to my dear friend Twigs' website which will afford you all the info needed to purchase just one issue or a subscription. You can email Miss Fay who is the "go to girl" and very creative publisher who wears many hats to keep this baby going. I promise... you wont be disappointed.

Also while you are at "Primitive Blessings byTwigs n Sprigs" website, treat yourself to her stories, beautiful pictures of her shoppe, home, recipies, offers, web designs, patterns, stationary AND amazing primitive rubber stamps....(I know I have some) and links... just tell her Scaredy Kat sent ya! ENJOY!!!!!!

http://www.twigsnsprigs.com/

BE HIS!

And I "am" His...I am a child of God.... a Kings Kid... It wasnt all that long ago that I wasnt getting a dozen long stem beautiful roses for Valentines day. I remember some days (back in the day) that I wasnt acknowledging much of anything accept the deep life of shame I survived while sick and in the throes of active addiciton. Some people who have read my blog ask me why I continue bringing my old life up? why dont I move on and share just happy things? and I tell them I AM moving on... I do share the happy things in my life "because" Im in recovery.I am just committed to sharing those bad days to appreciate and perhaps be a vessel of hope and references for anyone who might "be' or have someone in their lives that are experiencing the life I once lived while sick with addiciton. Ive also been thanked both publicly and privately for using my experiences, I believe I was brought to it to get through it. and then share my message of hope.

There is no shame in putting a voice to addiction, the shame is keeping it hidden. Secrets grow in the dark and die in the light.



"This little light of mine? Im gonna let it shine, Im gonna let it shine on me!"



If I were still in the dark, I wouldnt be showing off the exquisite bouquet of roses my Valentine surprized me with. I wasnt always spoiled this way. I wanted to share with you the gratitude I feel in my heart for what God has done in my life and my husbands life. We are indeed blessed with uncommon favor and supernatural blessings everyday. The odds of both of us coming into recovery and remaining clean and sober for as long as we have and will continue to do, is a miracle. and you all KNOW how I feel about miracles!



Ive read some other blogs where the women were in a place in their relationships where they didnt want flowers, cards and candy because they were more appreciative of having gifts of home improvements, and thats awesome...but we dont own a home, we dont have much in terms of material items.. but we do have eachother, "so for me", someone whos not used to recieiving romantic expressions that have thorns, stems and pedals...I sure am happy. I sure am grateful am loved.



Dont get me wrong, my hubs is a very giving husband, Im not complaining, but he seldom succombs to wishy washy sentiments on holidays, hes more of a " "show & tell your wife you love her everyday" kinda guy....but for whatever reason today, buying me such beautiful roses was important for him. (& Im glad it was!)



I sure am grateful that I have a loving God in my life who saw fit to keep us alive AND together. So Happy Valentines Day to all my friends I consider my sisters....you all know who you are.

Scaredy Kat Folkheart

Im going to attempt something death defying...not for the faint hearted. Not for the weak kneed....Before your very eyes, Im going to try & add the link to my "Photobucket" account that I diligently worked on this morning...I mean ALL MORNING LONG!!!!



Drum roll please....quiet please.....

never mind... I lost my nerve...just joshing ya....



Ive put together a slideshow of my work throughout the past year. Some are large projects...some as small as ornapins...but Im amazed and inspired with the amount of change and improvements Ive seen in my work. It as though I was re-reading an old recovery journal of mine...some strengths...alot of weaknesses but growth when its all said in done. In our 12 step fellowship, we have an inspiring slogan...Progress...not perfection. Thank God because it promises me that as long as I never give up, theres alwasy going to be change....

So bare with me, I hope my new learned skills and studying the putter books werent all for nothing...Lights please....


Well Im so grateful that we have just witnessed... that in fact we need "never" give up 5 minutes before our miracles about to happen...mine just did...enjoy the show!



http://253.photobucket.com/albums/hh60/kat449?albumview=slideshow

I RELAPSED!!!!!!

I admited in my last entry that I am a fabricholic...well like any good addict, I relapsed.... I only went to Joannes to look for the new issue of "Create & Decorate" magazine, but it wasnt in yet...so I acted out... the sweat began...the guilty justifications going back & forth in my mind.... no fabric sponsor to call, only my "enabling," "partner in crime" husband who not only "wouldnt" encourage me out the door, (like hed risk trying that!) but began going thru the bolts of fabrics and fattys asking if I thought this would look good on one of my D.I.P.s????(dolls in progress) so this is what I "scored"

So I came home and confessed my guilty pleasures, & treasures to my little confidant "Opie" & after a hug and cookie, I was absolved & "alls well" in Kats world again.

I did admit to the hubs that my new addiction isnt all that much cheaper than my old one, but at least this addiction doesnt blind me with hangovers the next morning!!!!

Back to the drawing board!

What was I thinkin with this angel? I guess Im trying to expand my horizons with creating faces, but Im not feelin this one...so back to the drawing board...I was trying to get used to her UNTIL my lovin hubs walks by me working on her, and says "Oh cute a cabbage patch doll!" Oh my decisions cemented now....I am going to admit something that will probably anger some...so here it comes...hold on....I CANT STAND CABBAGE PATCH DOLLS! I never did...I never will. I didnt like em when people were standing in rediculous lines waiting to buy them in the early 80s, and I sure as heck dont care for em now. There its out. And now I have to think of somewhere to donate lil miss...miss...missfit. I cant just throw her away because I invested alot of time, & materials making her, and I always pray for the recipient to find joy, healing, and abundance, when creating her, and she is my design... GULP!!!!

so maybe Ill just ask God to guide me to some youngster who would really appreciate her. I mean she is an angel after all.

I guess Id better change her tag to say "Be Somebodies!!!!but not mine!"

My name is Kat & Im a fabric-holic....

Is there anything sweeter or more exciting than the smell of new fabric?

Prints or solids?????

or raw, unfinished wood just awaiting the feel of your brushes?

Ohhhh the possibilities...the potential...the ideas!!!! To Take a half yard of blank osnaburg, & then to see it after a little sewing, stitching, a little painting, shading & highlighting, & then final touches with artist pencils, ooohhh the birthing process just excites me. I have been creating dolls, bunnys, chicks, & have been having the best time painting wooden eggs. Ive been painting little saltbox houses, willow trees, & grazing sheep on these eggs. I sit them on a lil wooden holder, that I stain and tie a small strip of homespun fabric to.

So although its dark, chilly, and pouring rain outside, my spirit is embracing the up coming spring thyme.

The laundrys done, grocery shopping done, dinner menu planned, bills have been paid....Nothin but me, new fabric & supplies, great ideas, and a song in my heart...."Im singin in the rain"....

The Road Less Traveled...A Romantic Walk.

This morning, my husband invited me out for a walk with him. The weather was a typical beautiful New England morning in February. I posted a few photos to share with you the importance of making time... to make time with each other.

Sometimes we take each other for granted...not today. I felt like a teenage girl with him on a date before we were married & we became overwhelmed with...well life.

It was so refreshing to feel comfortable just walkin, & noticing Gods critters runnin for shelter once they heard us. I was either quietly expressing my gratitude, saying a couple of prayers, or cracking up at my husbands wit and spin on life. We werent tweaking out about what we didnt have, we were actually expressing to eachother the peace we both felt for having all we do.

Heck...we even held hands with each other!!!!

We both shared about the odds we as a couple in todays world, and especially in recovery, we have so far beaten, & prayerfully intend to beat the hell out of some more. Ronnie & I have been legally married for 11 & a half years but have been together for 18! that in of itself is a downright miracle. No siree...marriage isnt for cissies.

But I think the older we grow, the wiser we become....we pick our battles a little more carefully,we ask ourselves, how imprtant is "this" going to be in a month???....year???

I feel so blessed to have come to a place in our relationship where we worry less about things that used to make us crazy, and more about things that didnt. Does that make any sense at all? It will if youve been married for any length at time, or youre at least into your 40s.

Anyway, I just wanted to share our date with you. Im sure once the Superbowl game begins later today, our peace & quiet will be long gone...my husband isnt a quiet fan, but sure is an enthusiastic one. So Im off to prepare the buffulo wings, snacks, dips, and dinner.

Thank you Robby from the U.K.

I am so blessed, the other day, I came home from a hellatious day at the deli, & this surprize gift from Robby who is an awesome friend & prim lover made me these precious altered vintage pendant, & journal...just for me...for no reason...just because...

She personalized these gifts with sentiments that turned my day around completely reminding me, that no matter what kind of day I have...I have friends ALL OVER THE WORLD!!!!!

Thank you so very much Robs...I will treasure them like I do you...with all of my heart and soul...

Thank you!

Thank Everyone & I especially thank "The Prince Of Peace", for praying my Mom (Jo) back to health.

Here is a picture of my Mom "Jo" & lil Sandy (yorki-poo, half mini yorkshire & poodle) her sidekick who has provided the best friendship & increased her desire to fight this exhausting disease. Thank You Sandy too!

As most of you know (who know me) my Mom was diagnosed with limited small cell inoperable lung cancer(I wont capitalize the letters on this disease, cuz the devil is a liar) at the end of Sept. We recieved this devestating news, the same week we buried my Dad.

Well since then, I have been reaching out asking for prayers from old friends, new friends, anyone who would listen...I put a pair of my sisters rosary beads from Israel (who wore them when she was in the Convent & has since passed) around her photo, & kept a white candle lit in vigil everytime we prayed. I know it was a shrine more to comfort me, but I am so grateful, thankful, and beside myself with joy, to share with you that the chemotherapy treatments, and diligent prayers have shrunk her tumor by more than 50%!!!!!!

Ive recently been saddened with the news that a dear friend in our own dollmaking community, is experiencing the same devestating news with her own Mom "Ruth". Ruths cancer is in her breast, and is scheduled for surgery next week. I am asking for you to keep Ruth in your prayers. I BELIEVE!!!!!

In honor of my friend, Im not going to put her name on "my" blog, she has her own to do that if shes in a place to share her experience, but this devestating disease plays havoc on our emotions.

Sometimes my love, prayer, & passion for people get in the way of good common sense, & rather than risk making anyone feel violated, because this is such a personal disease, Im only asking that you keep my freind and her mom Ruth in your prayers.

I thank you all in advance. I am just convinced that prayer works in numbers, I believe with all my heart that "Faith without works, is dead." I also believe "We have not, because we ask not"....Please lets ask!!!!