OOOPS!

I have no clue as to how my old boss from a previous job hopped on board, but I sure hope she isnt in the witness protection program!!!

Picture Posting Monster!

I think i can...I think I can...and I did!!!!

One of my dreams and desires was to learn how to master posting pics on this computer and my new hero "Allie" (tada) came over for yet another marathon tutoring session on this machine. I tried to keep her from going home cuz I wanted to learn more...such addictive personality, I offered to do her laundry, I fed her until she couldnt move, introduced her to vanilla cream and splenda in her coffee, (which she made noises of yummy pleasure while she drank it) I even offered for her to stay the night. But nooooooooo, she has a life of her own to live she claims...Imagine!!!

But I am so very grateful that she helped me and patiently giggled at my probably rediculous questions and terms...and the look on her face when she went into my "favorites" and saw it rolling like the credits from the movie The Titantic. "um Kat"...she quietly suggested, "you might want to organize ALL these favorites, do you want me to teach you how?" oh sweet Allie, "no darlin, thats one of the few things I "in fact" know how to do on here, Im just ...ummmm really lazy" you know...so many blogs...so little time!

She is just too cute for her own good, she was so amazed and thrilled to see someone like myself, working thru such frustration and yet she wouldnt allow me to believe anything but the potential that I have to learn this, and so much more.

So thank you Allison, I promise, I owe you a "to die for" funky haircut that will be the envy of all 12 step meetings, I will provide the sculpted angel head for the top of your personal God Box I promised to help you paint & design, and unlimited gooey, hot, homemade, crescent roll sandwhich squares, from now until I am satisfied that at best, my blog will be just as interesting, musical, funny, informative, hopefully inspiring, and creative as the ones in my blogging community of primitive artists.

That said...Id like to leave you with a few pieces of my work I have designed throughout 2007 so you can get to know what my passion is for a change....

and Peanut...did I not promise you when I learned how to cut copy, and paste, your link would be my first???? Ive added yours and Roons, & if I cant manage to remember how to add all the others, its off to the kitchen for me to bribe Allie with more Pillsbury delights...Im gonna be there awhile!

Faith, Family, Furbabies & Friends!

I failed!

I wanted to share a part of you that Im not very proud of. I am human but it doesnt excuse my acting impulsively or inappropriately. And I have. Without divulging or boring you with the blow by blows of this situation Im talking about, I blew it.

Normally I would never put something so negative on my blog, but this blog has afforded me the oppertunity to grow, learn, and share my experiences, strengths and hopes with you. Even and especially when I fail miserably. But many of you believe in me, Some of you leave me such beautiful, uplifting, and inspiring, comments supporting me on my journey, that if I didnt share honestly this burden on my heart and only shared the wonder and light in my life...I would be a fraud.

After months of my laying down, turning the other cheek, trying to be obedient while acting spiritually submissive to some hateful personal attacks, intentional financial blows, having my personal emails read, and computer hacked into, by a person previously in my life, I finally SNAPPED yesterday.

I CHOSE to respond to yet another financial attack that was "ultimately" my responsibility but certainly none of this persons business, and I retalliated impulsively, and intentionally tried to hurt this person back. Thinking Id feel better, ya know, finally...one up. I tried to feel empowered, victorious rather than victimized and all I did was "mirror" this person and it doesnt feel good at all. I stooped to their level. Im sharing this with you to prove that ...2 wrongs dont make a right. I am so not the tough, ignorant, scrapping, dope fiend, that I was before I was blessed with my new life.

I chose to take my will back and when I finally went to God in prayer, which I should have done first , God spoke to me and told me that I didnt trust that this situation was "His"not mine, and is being dealt with but it was His time...not mine and I tweaked. I know God forgives me. it would be arrogant for me to think I was beyond forgiveness. but Im having a hard time forgiving myself, because Im not a mean spirited woman. Im always telling the women of Grace in my life how I want to learn from them...and how I admire their femininity and off I go re-acting to a personal hit.

I cant imagine Peanut, Blondie, Sherrie, or any of you, handling this situation the way I did.

I have legal rights. I have already begun the painful process to protect myself in the future, I have my security back on my computer and will work on being accountable to the financial wreckage I have caused while in active addiction and prevent anyone from ever being able to have any kind of power over me again. I was foolish enough to think that I could snap and intentionally hit back, and not feel bad.
Wrong is wrong when everyones doing it...right is right when no one is doing it.

These personal attacks had very little to do with me...I understand that "Hurt people hurt people"

I thought Id be doing the happy dance. and Im not. Im feeling ugly, and vindictive. I cant shower and scrub this off of me. I know...Ive tried.

So I will take this human lesson and not repeat my behavior ever again. I will work on forgiving myself and trusting Jesus more.

I really hope that if any of you are feeling stressed, or on the verge to re-act. or act out on something being fooled into (as I was) that revenge is sweet. Its not. Living well is the sweetest revenge.
Thank you for allowing me the freedom and friendship to admit when I fail miserably, and not leave me feeling judged.

When you always do what you always did...you always get what you always got!

When theres No Change...theres No Change.
I want to change... I soooo want to change!!!!

Im so proud!!!!

I am so Proud of my youngest son Jordan. He has made the decision to follow his dream, and he and his buddy, "now partner" Brian, are opening their own business. Jordan struggles as I do with certain disabilities that prevent us from learning new things in the "linear" way that most people do, but if the new info is presented to us in a more creative, hands on, or "one on one" manner, we DO pick it up and were off and running. Hence, my inability to learn anything without someone sitting right beside me on this computer. So when Jordan came into the house yesterday just BEAMING from his head to his toes and bubbling (and youd have to know Jordan to appreciate that he seldom bubbles...) and told us that he and Brian had begun the scary but exciting process of opening "JDM Motorsports" parts store. Now to us chicks, it may sound like a run of the mill car parts store... NOT!!!! Jordan is sooooo talented and born with the natural gift of fixing cars, or anything mechanical, so Ronnie and I were a bit taken back when he told us it would be a parts store, knowing how he lives to have his head buried inside any motor and feet dangling out of the hood, and grease up to his elbows everyone is usually convinced is a bizarre, dark, tattoo. But the beauty in this new store is that although they will be selling regular car parts, they will also be selling "hard to find, muscle head, hot rods, low riding, souped up" car parts. Hooker headers, purple hornies, nitrate. which is a tank of gas for racing and makes the car speed the way no mother wants to think about. (especially this one)

Jordan will also be able to feed his passion and spirit by hunting for these parts and then helping people install, fix, and improve any vehicle...they will specialize in Honda parts. My son is a certified "Honda Addict" and proud of it. (smile)

He told me his goal in one year is to have their business reputation known similarly to the awesome t.v. show "Pimp My Ride" but Connecticut Style.... I have seen first hand some of the "Hoopties" that have sputtered, been pushed and towed into our back yard as one of Jordans projects and within 2 weeks of little sleep, eating, or socializing, turn them into remarkable show vehicles...inside and out.
I am so proud of Jordan...
I Believe In Jordan.

Now if I could only find him a nice religous, Amish girl..........

.MINE....ALL MINE!!!!!

The Day is all mine...my first day off since Christmas day. I was supposed to have the day after off as well but ended up going in for 4 hours to help close, so today is mine....... all mine.

I brought the hubster to work so I could have the truck, go to the bank and make a much needed deposit... Then I get to finally pay some bills. What a GREAT feeling. Ive had the money in the account to pay the bill for both our cell phones but never had the 10 minutes to sit down & write the check, nor did I have the stamps...always a day late and a dollar short!!! Can anyone relate? arggghhh! I need to work on time management.

I was blessed with such a surprize yesterday while at work, Ronnie took our tree down, vacuumed, did laundry,scoured the bathroom...ohh AND tackled the soaking and unforgiving casserole dish I baked homemade macaroni and cheese in the other day....then went to the Sprint store and paid our cell phone bill in person...all so I could do whatever I wanted or needed to do with "My Day Off" Is he a keeper or what?

When I come back from the bank, Im actually going to pull out my fabric, paints, and sit down and CREATE....CREATE...CREATE!!!!!! Ive got a couple of surprizes to make a friend, and I designed them in my sketch book awhile ago and they are just calling to be made. I have all the supplies, and I am soooo excited. Its been almost 3 and a half weeks since Ive fed my soul with sewing. Im also going to sew a primitive sheep Stacey from Goode Wife from Washington County designed and surprized me with...ohhh the pressure!!!!


Im also going to call my computer savy friend Allie and ask her if shed be willing to come over for an hour and download all of my pictures from my computer onto the blank cds I bought for this. The last time she was here, she promised to teach me how to organize and create file folders for them which means I can then post all the pictures I want and bore you all to tears with Opie, my latest designs, my family, etc....I cannot wait. If not today, then my next day off on Friday.

I know myself how just reading someones blog without pics can be sometimes...mmm...well downright boring or too much to read. so I personally thank you all for hanging in there with me, and believeing in me and my desire to learn all I can on this dang putter. I bore myself sometimes. HA! I know you all support me and care about me enough to leave comments, and encourage me. so I shall keep my commitment to myself and to you and prioritize meeting with Allie.

Im also excited about sharing some of Ronnies awesome work, he just got an order for a dreamcatcher and I will show you when hes completed it. He is amazing. He designs and makes exquisite Native American chokers for men and women, he makes dream catchers and sometimes incorporates a recovery medallion on the top sitting regally among the assortment of feathers, and beads. He recently completed a woodburnt piece of oval wood and he burned a pair of wild, western boots onto it. He made our brother in-law a beautiful medium size wooden box with a saddle on it. Wow...Mike loved it, since hes a race horse owner, and enthusiast. So it will be fun to show you Ronnies passion for creating as well.


Before I end, I wanted to share with you how wonderful our New Years eve was as we exchanged Christmas gifts with each other. Ronnie bought me a beautiful wide, gold bracelet, a soft. blue "Laura Ashley" bathrobe...(go Ronnie) and a pair of sheepskin clog slippers, a daily meditation book for the Christian Woman, and hes growing a sexy goatee for me.... I bought him 2 shirts, one with a Native American print. ( chamoix deerskin) kind of a clay color, a huge fishing net, (challenging to wrap) a gift card at Cabelas, (a hunting fishing store), a pair of socks w/reinforced toes and heels, a 6 pack of toewarmers cuz he welds outside in the bitter cold, and a bumper sticker that states he loves FISHING. my son bought him an awesome watch and "Mustang" cologne...thank you Jordan, now we can throw away his "Brut" which should have gone away when the High Karate did!

Embrace the day with a spirit of gratitude, and live it as the gift it is....The next time you visit, I hope my blog will be picture friendly!!!!