Thursday, February 16, 2012
Young & old, it doesnt care.
Its a beast, it eats its young.
It tears & ravages people up both victims & loved ones.
I was recently made aware of my Orthopedic Dr.s young wife is one of those victims I speak of.
Since Ive been struggling in rehab & painful physical therapy from my 3d hand surgery a few months ago, I learned sadly about my Dr.s personal path with this monster.
I am quite ashamed of what he must have been thinking of me every time I was in his office, whining & complaining about my fears of never having my hand be pain free or completely mobile again' or why it does this, or that??? or why cant I open cans yet???,why it still hurts...BLAH BLAH BLAH....
. Almost passing out with every cast removal...(Im such a wimp) having to lay down with the stitches removed, tearful physical therapy...well I am just so ashamed of myself.
Heres the thing....
IM not having to whine about nausea daily from chemo & radiation treatments, nor do I have to compalin about any port having to be inserted for those weekly treatments....I dont have to worry about what will become of my husband or 3 young children if I must accept Im losing my battle...
I cant begin to wrap my thoughts around what she & her family must be experiencing.
After learning about this couples medical crisis, I wanted to do something for them. But what? a card? Light a candle in a Church? make an anonymous donation to the Cancer Society? Well certainly great ideas but I wanted to do something a little more personal.
Since my surgery, I havent been able to make or create any dolls. Ive been able to paint a little but nothing that requires heavy sewing or stuffing which most dolls require...
It was time.
I carefully sketched & shopped for some specialty fabrics that slide more towards the whimsical side than the familiar primitive homespuns.
I made my purchases, came home & began making an "Angel Of Healing" which although I was intending for them, realized the healing was provided for me as well.
It was slow going, a little clumsy & quite frankly after being out of commission for months, I was quite rusty.
This doll fought me tooth & nail.
Yet I forged ahead. I lit a white candle & asked God to bless the recipient with healing. I asked that she be enveloped in supernatural & mindblowing healing. Once I stepped out of my own self absorbtion of trying to make a perfect doll, she began to materialize & she came to life. The reason for her purpose was just enough to keep me pushing for completion.
I left for his office this morning with his angel tucked safely amoung tissue in a gift bag. I waited nervously in his exam room like an excited child.
Tick Tick Tick....
You see for so many years I was such a taker from my predatorial behavior when being strung out & at the mercy of my heroin addiction, that the gratitude & deep love I feel for God for changing me so radically just takes my breath away. 10 years ago the ONLY reason Id be in any Dr.s office was to try to hustle pain meds for some feined injury....so to think Im able to give back such a small part of me for a change...well there are no words I can describe...youd have to be there.
When he entered the room, I told him I had done a little "stitching" for HIM :)
The look on his face was something Ill treasure forever. I close my eyes right now & think back to his warm embrace while thanking me & again...I am overwhelmed to think it was me recieving the gifts of healing.
Dr.s arent usually ever able to work past my hair, heavy ink or piercings.
But this amazing, soft spoken man who wears a set of beads around his neck to represent something personal & private for him..... with an aura of spirituality surrounding him.... never once made me feel less than, or troublesome with my resum'e of complaints & fears...always treating me kindly, compassionately & warmly.
His gentle hands touching the stuffed pillow that this doll held with one hand bandaged to honor his title of being one of the best hand surgeons in the country...(another miracle of mine since this ia a workmans comp case) repeated "my wife is going to love this." I had stitched the reminders of Courage, faith & believe sitting next to a funky button claiming "HOPE"
When I was standing in the reception area making my next appt. the medical assistants & nurses were coming up "ooooohhhing & aaaahing" complimenting me.
He liked her so much he was in the back showing her off...How cute is that? Such a busy man with patients waiting for him...took the time to share her with the other staff members,
I was wrapped in humility.
My absolute favorite person besides my Dr. who is his secretary/ or office manager "Diane" asked me if Id be interested or willing to create, be a part of that day by participating & donate a an angel of healing doll for the large annual Cancer Awareness Fundraiser they sponsor every year.
To think Ronnie & I were invited to be a part of something so important, so inspirational...well...
Color me Happy,
I had to stop myself from hopping in her lap & licking her face in joy.
Yeah, I know....Im a mess.!
Dont go acting all surprised NOW!!!
Angel of Healing????
Thank you for stopping by & joining me in a little personal healing of my own.
Posted by Kat at 8:40 AM