Now Im not really a superstitious kinda girl, so waking up this morning, I embraced my Friday the same way I do all the others, with a spirit of expectancy...Whats today gonna bring! (panting like my lil Opie with excitement)
I also know that...."Some days your the dog, and some days your the hydrant"....
Well Folks, Welcome to Hydrant Friday... while I was sitting on the deck celebrating all thats good in my life, sippin on my coffee and journaling.....well lets just say today I wouldnt be considered the dog!
Ronnie has GOT to do something with our low hanging Mulberry tree which produces all sorts of succulent berries swollen with...well whatever the heck are in these berries that are fat enough that when they fall, they plop in your coffee, & your head they feel like weapons of mass destruction...oh yeah...I almost forgot, the birds love em too. So much so, that when they sit up there and munch away, they also need to relieve themselves, and thats exactly what one of them did.
BAM right on the top of my freshly shampooed hair, slidin down the side of my face, along the stem of my glasses, and down the new tank top I was wearing for the first time!!!!!!
Im having a cookout next Saturday, I cant risk having everyone gettin pummeled with bird doo doo. and its not even white normal bird poop, (not to be uncouth, but Im here now) its bright Koolaid rasberry in technicolor from the flippin berries there scarfin down.
Now this may surprize you all, but I didnt handle it with the spirit of grace as one might think...ohhhhh nooooooo not this kid. Uh uh... I FAAAARRREEEEEKED! I went running inside to look at it...for whaaaat? to make SURE I just got crapped on???? WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT? I knew that happened when I ran my fingers thru my hair wondering when it startin raining!
So Im hysterically running around trying to get to the back door, but left in such a hurry, I didnt put my flip flops back on so Im traipsing thru the berries with my once clean feet, hoppin over them like they were land mines and Ive got company..Opies chasin me all over thinkin its time to play. ears floppin, tongue hangin out to one side thinkin hes got thee coolest grammie ever.
SQQQAAAWISH...now the clean kitchen floor...taaaarashed w/ berry juice, and little red paw prints behind me and Opies havin a ball.
All I can think of is calling a hotline wondering which hospital had the anti dote for bird doo before I catch legionairres disease!
Yeah, I live thru drug addiction only to be taken out by bird doo. I dont think so.
Finally I just stopped, like a good hydrant and surrendered, went back out in the war zone, picked up my flippers, and stood at the kitchen sink rinsing my hair out & used a dish cloth to dry it so I could stop the hysteria long enough to make a semi rational decision.
An hour, a shower, & a dog bath later later....Im sitting here wondering why folks would say your lucky when a bird chooses "you" to take a dump on...I dont know. Im just sayin....