H.O.P.E.

HOPE= How Our Problems End.

 And I need alot of inspiration & hope to help me overcome my nicotene addiction.

 But before I introduce my Recovery Angel I created from Robin Seebers pattern again, although I went off the beaten path so to speak....Ive seen alot of designers on the proverbial battlefield upset rightfully so about copied designs w/o being given credit & Im so hyper sensitive to remember to acknowledge these designers...although Im hoping "because" Ive gone off this said path, I hope I dont upset anyone....Im a Scaredy Kat not a Copy Kat...I dont know if anyone would even want credit with my sometimes clumsy or alternative, funky & loopy ideas that Ive added but Id rather be safe than reeeeally reeeeally sorry.

But I digress.

The cool chick Ive painted on this pickle jar is a Shari Reiner design (I just love her whimsy)...I put a glass voltive candle holder w/ a tea light in the mouth & tied a fabric bow around it.

 I refer to it as my "God Jar" I learned about it from a group of friends in A.A./N.A. They suggest we can decorate any box, jar, or container to use when were having a hard time letting go of something were either resisting or hanging onto. They can be resentments, prayers, requests, or just plain old gratitude. We write one sentence down on a post it note, insert it, light the candle & pray for peace, & ask our Creator or God to help our light to shine brighter than whatever it is weve inserted in the jar.

 I know for me "If I dont let go, I get dragged" & Ive got the road rash scars to prove it!

 After 30 days of adding our "posted" issues, we go back & read them & most of them arent even so big or even an issue anymore.
 Because when we truely let go...
God takes them.
 We throw them away & begin again.
 When I shared this w/ my friend Renna, I told her that Im probably gonna need a bigger jar, she suggested a gallon size pickle jar? ....I dunno I was thinkin more of a "kegger"!

 And now I can finally introduce my completed Angel I felt compelled to make for me.

 Im fighting this embarrasing, shameful but very real & difficult addiction to nicotene.
 It was something I always easily justified, I often lied to myself about dealing with one thing at a time,

 Ill quit when they get too expensive....Puff ...Puff...Puff...
 Ill quit when my husband does...Puff...Puff...Puff....
 Ill quit when my lungs tell me to....Puff puff puff...
Well they did.
 Last December during the week of Christmas, I caught what I thought was the bi-yearly bronchitis...when it didnt go away after being treated with several anti-biotics, prednisone, breathing treatments, 3 inhalers &cough syrup w/ codene, I went to a specialist after 2 months had passed & my pitbull bark that was VIOLENT & non stop, & the pain in my right lung was intolerable, my specialist ordered a CAT Scan....they found 6 nodule/masses on my right lung.

 Sick as this sounds...as scared as I was I puffed myself into a frenzy...coughing, crying, up all night, (husband & family very scared) I commited that if I did have lung cancer Id smoke myself right into the ground,(God must have been so proud of me for that one) no reason to quit now....& if I didnt & indeed dodged the lung cancer bullet, I promised God I would give everything I had into quitting....to stop cheating Him, my family...myself. I had/have no quality of life being this sick.

 My Pulmonary Specialist reassured me I do not have lung cancer from looking at the Cat scan but still had to figure out, explore, measure & biopsy, & do cultures so scheduled me for a Bronchoscopy which I had 2 days ago...
now...
. had I known it would be performed thru my NOSE....

did you hear me?????
 THRU MY FREEKING NOSE!
& not thru my big fat mouth, I would have been a no show....

OMG I need another Tums just thinking about it again.

 A Scaredy Kat FULL THROTTLE!!!!

 No amount of his valium, numbing NASTY tasting gargling pre op concoction &/or fentynal could calm me down for this nightmare.
 I dont remember it goin in but I was coming out of it when it was coming out & yall?
I still swear it wasnt the anesthesia but he DID have his foot on my stomach yankin that sucker out!!!!!

He said he didnt....

He LIES.

Thats my story & Im stickin to it.

 I see him this week for the results & our next move on treatment or what to do in getting me much better. I know he cant do it alone...I know its up to me to accept that I HAVE to quit smoking completely.

but be honest....

 after reading my experience didnt it make you want  to light a freeking cigarette?

Or something??????
Im just sayin.
 I have cut down significantly& sometimes dont smoke at all for several consecutive days... but thats not good enough for me...or God. I made Him a promise.
 I have begged Him to do for me what Im unable to do for myself. ....again.

 He did it many years ago when I was suffering & drinking & using...then again helping me with the strength, courage & desire to taper & get off of methadone...this should be a breeze no?

 Hell to the NO!!!!

 So I created this Recovery Angel for me....with a 24 hour A.A. medallion reminding me I can do anything for 24 hours....then I included a silver heart necklace with the inspiring words "Strength, Courage & Wisdom" on it....& on her pillow I stitched Conceieve, Believe, Achieve. and completed it w/ a tag with Eleanor Roosevelts famous & powerful quote

 " You must do that which you think you cannot do"

 I LOVE that woman.

I lit a candle while creating her asking God to repulse me when I crave nicotene, free me, strengthen me... save me....

I dont want my Grand daughter to believe the only way to "get thru" something, enjoy life or calm down with a cigarette. I want to be there for my kids, & their kids, & to enjoy the second half of my life celebrating it not tolerating it because Im puffing & coughing away. I shared in my last blog entry that I was taking a little bit of a different path with the direction of my blog. I put myself out here, not always pretty, normal, comfortable or politically correct, but Ill always expose who I am.

 Not because I believe im all that important but because we never know who might be fighting their own demons or battles & may find HOPE in one of my experiences, battles, & belief in fighting the good fight. It aint always pretty, but its real.
 Ill close with thanking you for stopping by.

And with this...
 "Id rather be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not"

Ive been busy this past week & it feels so good to have had some of my energy return. Ive got 2 appts this week w/ Pulmonary Specialists & my new Pulmonary Therapist is just amazing. Shes helping support me while Im on this trip to hell in terms of becoming a non smoker. I have good days, or I should say successful, then something will get me nervous or upset & I fail.

I shared with her the importance of having someone like herself who isnt so black & white while quitting this addiction to nicotene. my Doctor, (& I do love him) but hes the Black & White kinda guy I speak of. (NO MERCY)

Amys more of a "gray" person. She understands what a difficult process it is & doesnt badger or judge me on the days I fail.

So I wanted to make her an angel emulating her beautiful spirit. I was inspired by Robin Seebers Outside the Box pattern Id found last year in Create N Decorate magazine, I doctored my version up if youll excuse the pun! :) Can you believe I actually found a miniature see thru x-ray & stethescope I glued to the stand?

Im seeing her Tuesday & will give it to her then. I made a stained tag saying "Embrace Your Gray-ce"

Im already busy on to my next angel Im making to celebrate "Recovery"

I stitched this primitive willow tree & made it into a cute little pillow tuck.

I posted a picture of my beloved Opie who like his Grampa who also has a sweet tooth & I was having a hard time keepin him out of the Easter Basket I had on my coffee table. (it was just easier in the end to move it)

Its so sunny & beautiful outside this morning, I think Im going to take Opie out for a long walk...They really need to sell Puppy Ipods.

Thank you for stopping by & may we all be reminded to ....

"Embrace Our Gray-ce"

New Directions

Ive made the decision to make some changes in my personal life which will include sharing them on my blog. Originally I created this blog to include only my artwork, my dolls, projects, etc...with likeminded artisans. I was introduced to my passion of dollmaking through some amazing Primitive Artists, Historians, & friends of friends on FB. I have grown in my creativity which expanded into my other passion which is writing & carrying the message of hope to anyone living with addictions or know someone who is. As some of you know I am a recovering heroin/cocaine addict. Hello???? Thump thump thump.... Is this thing on? Yeah, I was wondering cuz I usually lose alot of people at THIS point. One of the reasons I began my journey of painting, sewing & creating was when I had begun the looong, slow, painful road to recovery. I needed some other venue to stimulate me, one that didnt include syringes, triggers, cravings & Church Basements loaded every night with other souls seeking a new way of life thru the 12 steps. I am so indebted to this group of people I consider my personal heros but there came a time (& Ive often been critisized for this) but I wanted to live my life without being reminded in every fiber of my being of what I did, or to who...who I used to be... Wasnt there more to my identity than being " Kat the Recovering Addict"? I found there was, there is...so I ran, I ran deep into Art Therapy. People at Craft fairs & forums who had no clue as to my old demons or new found recovery. But then God blessed me with a full circle of sorts & decided my gifts werent only in my creating on fabric, wood or faces, but in sharing "my" way out......& the way "in" to others who still suffer from the ravages of addictions, or early recovery where they feel as if their going to die of boredom, lack of interest & stimulation....I am just blessed but often feel burdened with the desire & unable to share how I want to help support the patients who have sought help thru the contraversial but life saving (for me) path of Recovery with Methadone. Ill support anyone on or curious about wanting to taper off. Ive been all over the map with that one, but since I have been both alcohol, drug AND medication free for a long time, I cant take my blessings & run. I am called to give back. Arent we all? So Ive been praying for guidance from God to help place me. I didnt know if I belonged only in the dollmaking community being careful who I shared my complete journey & then wondering who to invite to read my articles in "Recovering The Self" since each articles Ive had published speak of my history of the dark into the light...I felt as if I were living the great white lie. I "do" understand how ugly, & disturbing drug addiction can be, can sound, smell like, feel like. But finding the beauty of recovery & all of its miracles, blessings out weigh any odious fears we have in opening our minds and or hearts. And the cool thing is having choices is that we all have them. If someones not comfortable reading this blog or someone elses, we have the choice to leave, run, never to return, but I have experiences, strength, hope AND a voice...AND Im preparred to use them ALL. Right here. I will never share or allow anything (comments included) to be too graphic or negative, because then we lose hope. I lived a life of ugly, & negativity, it was a dark place & I want to provide light...mine, yours...ours....Gods. So from now on Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow will be going in a different direction. Quoting Diana Ross.... IM COMING OUT! I will continue sharing my artwork, my creations, my passions about writing, my CrAzY babies with fur...my friends, my family, AND how we all got here. I really do appreciate those who love me in spite of myself, my quirkiness, my neurotic bantering, musings & growing pains. But I wouldnt havent been growing at all if I were by myself. I LOVE the saying .... "Its not the destination, but the journey." I thank you for stopping by & hope those of you who join me do so with hope in their hearts leaving any judgements at the door.

Be Ye Thankful

And I so am....very thankful. I sent these goodies off to a dear friend in Rhode Island. I had such a good time stitching at night while watching our favorite shows on TV. & This canvas tote which I painted both sides was a facial twitching treat at times. I just feel so called to Shari Reiners amazing designs. Shes so whimsical & when I see anything she paints, I feel happy inside. And isnt THAT what its all about? Im sitting here sucking away on one of my Nicotrol inhalers trying to beat the nicotene dragon. Im not proud to say that most of you know I have experience with recovering from addictions but NEVER has one been as difficult...as nerve wracking as nicotene. I feel like I wanna eat someone. No.... really.... I sincerely do. Im not fussy... anyone will do. My doctor has introduced me to Holistic Healing Therapy. BUT Im desperate enough to try anything. Join me if you will & close your eyes while I guide you into the very twisted & hysterical visual of ME in a pair of Yoga pants trying to touch the floor grunting & groaning???? Go ahead...laugh...ya know ya want to... Ill wait... I got nothin but time. Im putting the same hard work & faith into this as I did my other recovery. I do have a suggestion though for the Nicotrol people though... They should allow not only nicotene to be inhaled as your desperately sucking away... but... perhaps a few LARGE miligrams of Valium... Im just sayin. Just tryin to be helpful. Im grateful the weather will be turning warmer so I can begin walking. I have my IPOD loaded with some CrAzY songs that always keep me hoppin with housework, so power walking should be excellent with music. I love me my Beastie Boys...Fiona Apple....Leela James....Bon Jovi...Guns N Roses...Pink.... black Sabbath...Humble pie...OZZIE!!!!!some Hip hop from the 80s....The Humpty.... Now whos laughin??? Yes I LOVE The Humpty...I may or may not be seen at any given time DOING the Humpty if Im sure no ones lookin....& if Im really in the mood I may not care whos watchin! Shouldnt we all live our lives singin & dancin as if no one was????? Im wishing everyone a magnificent day & week to come. Im going to check on our oven roaster & make my "Healthy" salad w/ lishy little cherry tomatoes...mmmmm Thank you for stopping by to spend a few minutes with me....Scaredy Kat. ♥ (Shes the one in the Yoga pants....)

Happy March, happy spring, happy happy everything

"The Spring has sprung, the flowers has riz....I wonda where dem boidies is????"

Here they are!!!
I found these lil peeps in my issue of Create N Decorate by Cheryl Wall....what fun to make. I went to town making 22 of these. Some had polka dots, some had hair, some didnt...I brought an Easter basket filled with green grass, loaded with chocolate eggs, jelly beans, & 3 of these chicks for the Clinic where I co-facilitate groups every Friday. This morning I put the basket on the front desk where the patients swipe their ID cards before being medicated & I heard so many ooohing & ahhing this morning, it made me so happy.

I feel bad that I havent been a very good Blogger lately, I have had my hands full with my husband who finally had his second surgery to remove the mesh that his body rejected after his first hernia surgery.
They replaced it, flushed him out & probably changed his oil cuz hes much better now.
In fact the picture I took of him below was only 4 days after his second surgery. He was on his way to his cousins wake & I thought he was lookin purdy dapper!

In fact during his recouperation... or the pain meds, Im still not sure which, but bored him enough that this man FINALLY grew some interest in the internet...his adoreable index finger pecking out greetings...intense staring at the screen gigglin like a fool.... & making comments on....on...HIS OWN FACEBOOK page!!!! OH Mannnnnn....Ronnie has joined the millenium....
Welcome Darlin...
I have created a monster...
Now he wants to tweet!


The other reason for my absence is that I have been facing & dealing with a very serious lung issue & have been seeing a Pulmonary Surgeon who is planning to remove 6 masses that were found on my right lung. Im grateful to say they dont "believe" its lung cancer which runs rampant in my immediate family, AND Im not proud to admit I was a smoker my entire adult life... but we'll know better once this new Doctor examines my CAT Scan & will take a look see with a camera/scope.... do a biopsy & measure these suckers etc...HMMMM Im thinkin Im not all that excited about that prospect but its time to pay the piper...I have lived reckless & irresponsibly.
I blame no one but myself.

The changes incorprated in my life lately which is NOT smoking, eating less... moving more... has made for one crabby Kat!

But I am grateful & want to live to see my Natalie grow up. Be half the wife my husband is to me. Carry the message of hope to addicts needing support...to give back to my patient, forgiving & always loving sons....Ive got much work to do.
I have to change.

"If you want something youve never had before, you must do what youve never done before..."

So now onto more fun things to share....

I finally finished my new commisioned frog I named Angelceena since my friend who ordered her is named Alceen. She asked me to create a frog (which she collects) with her own spirit shining thru & since shes a passionate advocate for surviviors of Domestic Violence, I had a blast making her. I was honored to create this doll since Alceens husband was my counselor while I needed support in my own journey of recovery from addiction & is my mentor today.

The John Sliney design I painted on a pickle jar was for my girlfriend for Christmas & the pillow I cross stitched was for my buddy Lynn from Painting Thyme Needfuls. I lOVE this woman. I met her thru her blog, but now happily make it my mission to try & drive her crazy on FB...she has that effect on me. She is not a victim, she can certainly hold her own & dishes out the laughter and love as well. I am truely blessed.

Im staying focused & busy writing & just submitted my third article to Recovering The Self for Aprils exciting issue. I was asked to write about any disability I had experienced with either personally or professionally. Growing up with learning disabilities in the late 60s & the ignorance & bullying that I experienced & then the acceptance & healing when my own son was diagnosed in the late 80s gave me much to share.

And in closing I would like to congratulate my oldest son for beginning his new job as a Philly Police Officer. Although hes been a New Jersey Police Officer for the past 4 & a half years, Philly requires extensive training, so Monday he hops on a plane for Little Rock Arkansas for 8 weeks. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! I know hes excited but its breaking his heart to leave his wife & little Natalie for so long.

Its a beautiful Friday morning & Im off to continue a LARGE painting project for a friend on a canvas tote bag & if any kind of facial twitches are to be had...it would be painting on this bad boy. I need the work, the joy & reason for breathing.

Creative art & friendship provides just that.

May we all be blessed & live our last day as if it "were" our last.

Thank you for spending a few minutes with Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow...and Ive got MUCH to crow about.

Nat-urday Healing

What a winter wonderland we awoke to this morning. Caught Ronnie RED Handed outside this morning brushing cars off....5 days after a 3 & 1/2 hour hernia surgery that was supposed to be a quick one hour in and out ... followed by a very intense recovery room experience where his blood pressure dropped & he became shock-y & concerned the nurses & his wife...so stitches in tact, hes outside this morning grinning as Im looking at him from the door as if he lost his mind....I told him if he needs to DO something, he could DO the dishes!
WHATEVER!
So Natalie & the kids left yesterday & gratefully missed this weather going back to Jersey. I am pretty proud of myself, the neighbors werent snickering because Jordan & Ronnie had to pry my body off of their bumper as they left the drive way & I see lil Nats tattooed stamped hand waving goodbye.
OMGAWD! Dont think for a minute that hanging on their bumper did NOT cross my mind...
Its certainly NOT beneath me...
Nothing is when it comes to this little girl.
NO-THING!
My integrity is still in tact!
This time....
What a wonderful & healing visit it was. Dave called his brother, his best friend & they all went out to eat...
and....
to drink.....
LOTS of drinkin...
Im not sure I needed or wanted to hear all about shots they competed shooting...
Im in recovery...not them...
They were all pretty funny talking about the "Booty Shakin Bar" they went to...I cant picture either of my very manly sons "shakin their booties"
I think one may have...
they aint sayin much about that...
I got my money on the copper.....
Yeah, hes the one who woke up with the hangover the size of Texas....
Fried dough is a great hang over reliever...my dainty lil size 2 daughter in law sat down & threw 6 pieces down her gullet,then went back for 2 more.
She can do that & get away with it...she stays fit chasin Nat around.
Mannnnnn...I got a whole new respect for toddler owners...the back of my thighs, calves and.... and...
well my bootie shakin would make any of the "shakers" workin the pole the night in question very proud!
Pop Pop & I are certifiably beat! pooped.
Oh how cute was Natalie saying "Pop Pop...Pop pop...where my pop Pop? Nattie want Pop pop....
Yeah.....
NO!
At first the kids & I were all thinkin how stinkin sweet is that????? Of course olde Pop Pop is just beaming like a fool...She didnt want much of anything to do with any of us. I pick her up & shes struggling lookin for...yeah... Pop Pop...
WHATEVER!
The kids & I were all smilin in front of him...all sweet like but we were all lookin at each other rollin our eyes!!!!! It WAS getting a little annoying!
Rons cracking up saying "WHAAAT? I didnt do anything,...I cant help it...(she loves me)"
What does he know, hes all gooned up on dilaudid...
Lucky bast...
So Lana baked us all this sinful & I would imagine illegal or should be..Applebee Blondie with 100 % pure Vermont made syrup & Vanilla bean ice cream....
We spent 2 days eating, laughing, joking, picture taking...40 pictures to victimize each and every one of you at any given time...
OHHHH COME ON yall...you KNEW I was a Gramma idiot, so dont go acting all surprized NOW!

Pop pop was just beaming from ear to ear as he proudly exercized his right of passage & gave Nattie her first rub on (shhhh dont tell her its not real) Tattoo on her little hand...she calls it Pop pops Kakkoo!

All that experience did was make Ronnie want to have her sized for her first Leather jacket!

Unca Jordan was another problem....

and DORA!

Next visit...

Im banning anything having to do with Dora...

or Pop Pop...

Or anyone who diverts her attention to where it should be...

ON ME! Oh shes got my heart as no other.

The house is eerily & sadly quiet & clean.
I didnt even care for 2 full days it was TODDLER TRASHED! I was in my ever lovin sweet glory....

Can someone please pass the damn box of Kleenex?????

So back to life, back to reality. Im going to be starting a commisioned frog doll for a dear friendof mine who is married to one of my old (as in time not in age) counselors who I consider one of my Mentors today. Alceen honored me & asked me to create a frog for her emulating her personality & embracing her very passionate cause being an advocate for Domestic Violence. I will soon be knee deep in purple solids & prints making a dress & bloomers...ohhhh the sweet relief I always find in the healing qualities of Art Therapy.

Thank you all for stopping by & having a cuppa cawfee with me.

May we all smile & feel hope in our hearts for better tomorrows & embrace all of our todays...

thanks for being a part of mine♥

New England Blessings

My Toddler in Crime "Nat" is coming this weekend...Can we get a WHOO HOO?


Shes sportin her new denim jacket I made her last spring...Nampa...who Nat has decided... on her own one day to just up & change his name (maybe to protect his innocence) to "Pop Pop" who btw is finally scheduled AGAIN....for hernia surgery this Thursday, so as sore & gooned up as Im sure hell be, Nurse Nat will be exactly what the Dr. orders for smiles, & healing.

I cannot wait to see the kids & exchange presents with them for our belated Christmas. Nats Unca...Jordan & Tee Tee NoNo will be here as well. Unca will be here after he gets out of work at his NEW job...working for his favorite Car Dealership as in house Service Mechanic....oh dreams do come true dont they?

Rons surgery was cancelled last Thursday because of the 2 feet of snow Conn. got slammed with. This is a nightmare were both looking forward in seeing end.

This man is incredible...he is somehow pushing himself to work half days & all snow storms which hes out attending to as I type. Last week when he was out with his crew of 4 CrAzY guys who adore him, & had been out for 14 straight hours, he came home to dig us out... and he wasnt alone...he brought re-enforcements....these guys hopped out, grabbed 3 blowers,2 shovels, sand,& salt (looking & feeling exhausted) & all took charge & insisted Ron come in & warm up, recharge... but the Crew Pit Boss wouldnt hear of it.

Im so incredibly grateful to these hysterical & funny guys who had me belly laughing at their banter & teasing one another.
Im pretty sure not one of them would hop onto my Dollmaking/family/housewifey/writing/Blog to see how thankful I am to each of them...but stranger things have happened.

So Thank you Dan, Mark, Matt, and Dave.♥
Me? I attempted to go out before they got here & shovel...hackin up what felt like a lung...couldnt move with snow up to my thighs..I threw the shovel on the deck, came in & did what any sane, snowed in housewife would do...I made a hot egg & cheese sammy with Texas Pete Hot Sauce & spent the afternoon with The REAL Housewives of Atlanta!

Last night we were gonna have left over spaghetts, but since I am beginning to feel better from this Pneumonia, I decided to spice it up in the kitchen & give "The Pioneer Wife" Ree Drummond a little stiff competition... One fiesty redhead to another....& I so did!
I made these delicious ranch dipped parmesian/toasted onion/breaded chops.

Off the charts.
Mashed up some sweet potatoes & green beans & both Opie & Ronnie were lookin at me with eyes of wonder & love, love, love.
Watch out Ree, there may be a new sheriff in town!

I posted a picture of this months beautiful issue of "Recovering The Self" a Journal or Hope & Healing. The cover is exquisite, the articles just mesmerizing. Stories, poems, experiences, victories, overcomers & opening dialogue. I am simply humbled to be a part of each issue.

I shared the picture of Ronnie reading my article because his enthusiasm for what I write just overwhelmed me....My husband is alot of wonderful things but a reader???? ummmmm... not so much.
Not unless its got Harley parts, welding news, or Mixed Martial Arts ultimate fighters in it...so to see him sitting here intensly reading each sentence WITH his Bass Master Fishing Magazine waiting for him & he read this first?????oh heart of mine be still.

AAAAHHHHHHHHH......♥♥♥

Im also very excited to share that I was offered a new position as a Recovery Coach at the same Treatment Facility that helped save my life many years ago...A grant for this position was written, & now because of the funding, there are several requirements I must participate in, in order to meet these requirements. I have already attended an all day, very intensive training day & have become a member of the Patient Advocacy Group for NAMA... National Alliance for Medication Assisted Recovery.

Next is filling out apps,letters of ref. an interview & drug testing..bring THAT on... Im locked & loaded with so many helping me thru this nerve wracking process.
Ironically...my thumb surgery wont be happening for a couple of months so I am able to begin my new career without any immediate surgery dates comprimising or complicating any of this...

God is just blessing me & pushing me outside of my comfort zone to follow His will for me. Hes NEVER said no to me, so how could I? its not about me...not even about the high risk patients Ill be supporting..its ALL about Him!
In honor of all of my blessings, children, family, & opportunities Ive dedicated this entire month to designing & creating "Angels" I know Gods assigned me a birage of them & they dont always have wings.
My newest angels name is HOPE which I though very appropriate.

Before I close on a very personal note Ive thought carefully about replying to a comment left here, but feel I must. I will only reply this once & then moniter each future comment to avoid that which doesnt belong here. We are not victims, we are Victors in the name of our Heavenly Father.

...Attn. T.O.C. You do have family. You have chosen to publicly & privately denounce & now demote me to your "half sister" & have vehemently vowed to keep me out of your life.
It saddens me but respect your choice of this very long journey.
I love you, I continue to pray for your protection, recovery & peace. Sometimes we need to let go & let God do for us what were unable to do for ourselves. You are tucked tightly & closely in my heart & I pray that Peace & Grace happen for you...for us.