Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Ive made the decision to make some changes in my personal life which will include sharing them on my blog. Originally I created this blog to include only my artwork, my dolls, projects, etc...with likeminded artisans. I was introduced to my passion of dollmaking through some amazing Primitive Artists, Historians, & friends of friends on FB. I have grown in my creativity which expanded into my other passion which is writing & carrying the message of hope to anyone living with addictions or know someone who is. As some of you know I am a recovering heroin/cocaine addict. Hello???? Thump thump thump.... Is this thing on? Yeah, I was wondering cuz I usually lose alot of people at THIS point. One of the reasons I began my journey of painting, sewing & creating was when I had begun the looong, slow, painful road to recovery. I needed some other venue to stimulate me, one that didnt include syringes, triggers, cravings & Church Basements loaded every night with other souls seeking a new way of life thru the 12 steps. I am so indebted to this group of people I consider my personal heros but there came a time (& Ive often been critisized for this) but I wanted to live my life without being reminded in every fiber of my being of what I did, or to who...who I used to be... Wasnt there more to my identity than being " Kat the Recovering Addict"? I found there was, there is...so I ran, I ran deep into Art Therapy. People at Craft fairs & forums who had no clue as to my old demons or new found recovery. But then God blessed me with a full circle of sorts & decided my gifts werent only in my creating on fabric, wood or faces, but in sharing "my" way out......& the way "in" to others who still suffer from the ravages of addictions, or early recovery where they feel as if their going to die of boredom, lack of interest & stimulation....I am just blessed but often feel burdened with the desire & unable to share how I want to help support the patients who have sought help thru the contraversial but life saving (for me) path of Recovery with Methadone. Ill support anyone on or curious about wanting to taper off. Ive been all over the map with that one, but since I have been both alcohol, drug AND medication free for a long time, I cant take my blessings & run. I am called to give back. Arent we all? So Ive been praying for guidance from God to help place me. I didnt know if I belonged only in the dollmaking community being careful who I shared my complete journey & then wondering who to invite to read my articles in "Recovering The Self" since each articles Ive had published speak of my history of the dark into the light...I felt as if I were living the great white lie. I "do" understand how ugly, & disturbing drug addiction can be, can sound, smell like, feel like. But finding the beauty of recovery & all of its miracles, blessings out weigh any odious fears we have in opening our minds and or hearts. And the cool thing is having choices is that we all have them. If someones not comfortable reading this blog or someone elses, we have the choice to leave, run, never to return, but I have experiences, strength, hope AND a voice...AND Im preparred to use them ALL. Right here. I will never share or allow anything (comments included) to be too graphic or negative, because then we lose hope. I lived a life of ugly, & negativity, it was a dark place & I want to provide light...mine, yours...ours....Gods. So from now on Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow will be going in a different direction. Quoting Diana Ross.... IM COMING OUT! I will continue sharing my artwork, my creations, my passions about writing, my CrAzY babies with fur...my friends, my family, AND how we all got here. I really do appreciate those who love me in spite of myself, my quirkiness, my neurotic bantering, musings & growing pains. But I wouldnt havent been growing at all if I were by myself. I LOVE the saying .... "Its not the destination, but the journey." I thank you for stopping by & hope those of you who join me do so with hope in their hearts leaving any judgements at the door.
Posted by Kat at 5:19 AM