My Blog List

Monday, August 9, 2010

Refurbished BLOG!

So since Im embracing change...I figured...lets change it all... Do ya just love the new look of "Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow"????
Im having a blast refurbishing the old & bringing in the new....

Well looky whos back after such a long time!

It has been too long since Ive been here...but sadly, my desk top finally bought the farm! Oh did she crash hard & so did I! (I am not kidding)

I FrEaKeD out! I had all of my pictures on a disc or memory cards, but I had JUST completed a lengthy article I had worked hard on writing for a phenomenally creative magazine celebrating recovery called "Recovering The Self" & was facing a deadline...even after an extention of sorts...

Well gratefully on the one day...the very last, before she keeled over & died, I was able to email the article to myself, make the necessary changes & sent it off safely to my editor. No sooner did I hit send & that was the last time I was able to do anything on it.

God is so good.
Yes much has happened....
Kat has an editor.

After having my very personal story published with 19 others sharing their experiences in Barbara Sinors book called "Tales of Addiction & inspiration for recovery" I was contacted by the gentleman who edited Barbaras book & invited me to write an article for their magazine celebrating healing & recovery.
He asked me to write about how dollmaking was cohesive to my sobriety.
I am still reeling about this miracle, this oppertunity, this blessing!

This sure is BeYoNd anything I could have ever imagined for myself.

I am humbled, nervous & very excited to be featured in the next issue. I was asked to send photos since they are thinking about using my pictures of my dolls for the cover Im being featured in!

So last Monday I took all I was able to save for the past 2 months & bought this amazing brand new Laptop...

Another miracle.

I even get a Geek Squad Agent for the next 6 months!

His name is Zack.

He is my new BFF!
I even set up the guest room for him but he claims Best Buy has this crazy rule about their geeks goin off to live with neurotic, middle aged, customers!


So heres the thing....

Being left to my own lonely devises w/o the luxury of having access to my computer, I have learned MUCH about myself. I believe God used this sabatical to get my attention.

I have done alot of listening...Hes been whispering & Ive been hearing.

I have learned the importance of self discipline, time management, who my real friends are...who arent... the importance of being true to myself.

I have learned & Im not proud, in fact Im deeply ashamed:(but I have been working hard to people please, trying to be a part of a blogging popularity contest (which was all on me) & I stopped honoring & embracing whats really important to me.

I love creating dolls, some primitive, some art dolls, some very whimsical. I also love writing, I love cooking, & decorating but I cant pretend Im someone Im not...I dont have a luxurious,elegantly primitive or shabby chic home to share...Ive allowed myself to feel less than because I cant compete... so Ive stayed away, I stopped blogging & hid safely, comfortably on facebook.

Shame on me.

I had stopped sharing the best part of me in fear of being rejected because of a couple of people who werent "comfortable" that Id shared my gratitude for sobriety or about being asked to write for a recovery magazine in a forum... I was asked to stop sharing about my sobriety. People complained to the forum owner. I felt bad that the moderator had make that uncomfortable call to bring it to me at all, gratefully she did so with apologies & was my choice not to return.
I never shared about my life "before" sobriety, only how grateful I was living the life Ive been blessed with now. Im not an idiot...really Im not....I examined what I had shared with them & I am ok with me & just sorry it happened at all.
I couldnt even wrap my thoughts around that one. & I left feeling really hurt, almost ashamed...
I realized I am not going to "conform" or be less than who I am.
I wont go to your blogging house or forum sharing anything other than related topics, dolls or whatevers on the menu... Because its yours.....

But here???
at "my" house?
Its ON!
I will use the voice, creativity, passion for life & give all I have.
Thats the beauty of choices. We all have them.
I will share & CELEBRATE pictures of my humble abode, my beautiful family, friends, my goofy pets, my creations, my ups, my downs, and yes sometimes that may include experiences with the scary word "s-o-b-r-i-e-t-y!
But not because of me...but because in case someone is struggling, or has questions or concerns about themselves, a family member or friend. Ive been privilidged a couple of times when someones had the courage to contact me & ask me about such things....
Too whom much is given, much is expected.
Ill use my last dying breath to lighten someones load....
I apologize if this sounded a little negative, but I wanted to explain why my blog will celebrate Real Life....
Thank you so much for allowing me to express whats been on my heart for a long time now.

That said, Id love to share some pictures of my family, the love of my life, Miss Natalie Jo whos growing faster than I care to acknowledge...the last time we were there celebrating her first birthday? she called me "Gam-ma"
Thank God it was in front of others or no one would have believed me....cuz Im constantly making a fool of myself loving this child.♥♥♥
Thank you so much for stopping by & I hope to see you again...


City.Girl.Em said...

Kat, I am so proud of you! Your blog looks sunny, retro and so bright and happy. I knew you could do it!

Kat, I have something to say. I am so sorry some select few readers of your blog have chosen to vocalize their discontent over you talking about your sobriety. That's a shame and I'm sorry you felt deflated and withdrew for a while. But you must know this. I love you and wish you to always celebrate your authentic self, and be as true and honest as you can. I think you are so fortunate to have pulled yourself out of your addiction and it should be celebrated daily. Don't ever let anyone make you feel bad or embarrassed about something you've written.

Allow us to see it all, your family, your home and your art. If the ASSES out there are offended, let them skip over to the next blog, but don't deny us, your friends, the chance to read about the authentic Ms. Kat.

So glad you are back. Don't EVER let anyone bring you down or break your spirit. You are wonderful.

Renna said...

Kat, you are just about the cutest, most real person I've met in blogland. I love that about you, that you shine through. You need seek the approval of no man (or woman). You're seeking God, and that is what counts!

As to hiding your light under a bushel, I say 'harumph!'. Everytime you share of how God brought you out of the darkness you were in, unstuck your feel from the muck and mire and set you upon the solid rock that is Jesus, you are bringing Him great glory. Sobriety is your delivery from bondage. It is part of who you are. I've no doubt God will use you many times over to minister to those who are where you were, to show them there is freedom to be had. God bless you!

PS-I LOVE your new do around here. My tired eyes had a difficult time reading the font against a dark background. This is awesome! :-)

kat449 said...

(((((Em, & Renna))))))
I sit here reading youre expressions of support, love & encouragement towards me & I am rarely EVER speechless as yall know...but these tears are of joy, & humility that I have such amazing friends who trust & believe in me. Who dont care where Ive been, only in where Im going. Thank you both for truly celebrating me rather than tolerating me...I feel very blessed. ♥♥♥ (((Kat)))

BittersweetPunkin said...

I love your new bloggie look :)

...and I love everything about YOU...don't change a thing.


Sally said...

I'm new to your blog, and wanted to say how good it is to read "honesty" about the real world! We all have things we need to shed, and I compliment you!!

Your dolls are adorable, and your little grand - so cute!! :)

Jennifer said...

So great to hear from you! I can't believe what you have done with your blog! You have learned so much! I love the colors and the feel. Everything is bright,warm and inviting. The photos of your work and family are awesome. I remember way back when you first got your camera.

If someone out there does not like what you have expressed in your blog then they can just move on. It is that simple. It is our uniqueness that makes us more interesting. You have courage to say what is in your heart. Imagine living a life where you are unable to express how you truly feel. You are Kat. You are making a difference by speaking your truth.
Never stop being you.