Lettin Go & making room for the new...

Yoohoo...down there... Im not sure how to post pics yet to match and make sence with what Im sharing...so get the "Tums" if your a bit queasy from all the jumpin around......

HI!!!!The balloons Im releasing are an act of intent, I wrote on them names of some resentments Im still holding onto hoping and praying to forgive, Id like to be able to say that I forgive everyone, but sometimes when they continue to re-injure & because their sometimes in my life, I really struggle,(not my finest moment) so I thought perhaps God would bless me with forgiveness by my act of willingness to let go. Then I added some of my hopes, & dreams to others but on this balloon that you see is special and belongs to God...He gets His own balloon. I thanked Him for all I have AND for all I dont have. It was a pretty intimate and spiritual morning for me. I had breakfast in the park, all by me lonesome, then I prayed, as I printed each name, dream, or praise, blew em up, tied em, and then began to cry as I let them go.

Im not sure where I am in terms of forgiveness, but because of this time spent with God, I sure do feel lighter...so maybe God blessed me with one of His whispers telling me that "time takes time"....

Some witches hats in the process of baking in the sun, soon to be sanded, sprinkled with some lishy prim goop, embellished, tagged, glued and tattooed for sale. Up there... Ill post em when their completed.
(Picture of blog award coming soon!!!!)

I have been humbly blown away with a "Primitive Blog Award" from Sue over at Rabbit Hollow Prims...I met Sue when I had my 100th post giveaway. She creates, designs, and sews, some pretty amazing primitive & delightfully whimsical dolls...among a host of other delish eye candy. As soon as I try and copy & paste it over here...Ill show you. Ill also pay it forward & add a couple of folks who Id like to enjoy this honor as well...and I appreciate everyones patience, but over here at Katerpillars no more...it is what it is till it isnt....I do the best I can but have issues posting, dragging, copying, pasting, adding links...lions and tigers and bears oh myyyyyy!!!!

I am so very grateful but admit I feel a bit undeserving. I have been so busy with my chaotic life and trying to well...change every aspect of it from employment, to housing, too tweaking my creativity thats just been oozing to come out and play...oh yeah, worrying about my precious Mom, praying for Blondies Mom "Ruth" my therapists Mom Mrs. D. then trying to visit a few of my favorite blogsites...well Im just plum tuckered out but grateful to Sue for believing in me.

As crazy as my life seems to be at times, I have to admit that having the newlee-weds living with us sure adds lots of light and noise to our once quiet life. I am I n Mommy heaven. I just adore my daughter in law Noelia and quite frankly dont know how she puts up with my son..sorry Jordan I love you to the moon, but you sure can drive the women folk who are in your life C-R-A-Z-Y!!!! (See my facial twitches???) you are a delightful, funny, and comical man who I watch growing into quite a different person since youve taken on the new role as a husband. I look at that gold wedding band on your finger & I well up & my eyelashes leak, thinking back to the times when you would promise me that youd ONLY marry me...."if" you could have some more Doritos!!!

I should have given them to you....but sharing you has been a wonderful process, Im not sure sharing you with anyone but Noelia would be acceptable or easy for me. She brings light into all of our lives. Thank you for choosing so well.

I am falling head over heels in love with you myself...Its so nice having another female in the house with all this testosterone...I can use the help...I love you Noelia.... girlee, you da diggity bomb...

Blog award!!!

Im Freaking out...Im Freaking out...(as if that would surprize anyone anymore)

But my wonderfully delightful, and VERY talented friend Tina from "The Artful Life" blog, awarded me with a fun blog award and I have spent the last hour trying to copy & paste it...as you can see Im a slooooooow learner & was estatic when I managed to do this with the silly 'Kat for President" which I had to copy and paste the url addy for that...and it worked so Im not sure whether its my computer stuck on stoopid or me...Id put my money on me!

Ive been so overwhelmed & preoccupied with the insanity in my own life that I havent had time to continue practicing anything on this box, visit, or keep up with everyones blogs and lives that inspire me, no wonder Im feeling so dry...I need to be nurtured from my Kindred Spirits and I need my "Girlee Power"

I am honored but feel so undeserving, and feel really bad right now that Im unable to participate with the "Blogging Rules" I havent mastered how to post links. Ive gotten directions and tried to follow them, but I pull up the page to add these links and they ask for a whole lot more than Im equipt with...what I wouldnt do to be a geek right now.

~~~~Please accept my apologies (((Tina))), and (((everyone else))) who I havent been able to visit, reply or respond to. Im a hair away from a melt down...ooooh no Im not, Ive already had 2 of those...Gosh, the thought of having bedrest, round the clock nursing care, phych meds, and all day therapy, sounds pretty darn good to me. Disneyland aint got nothin on THIS fantasy!!!

Im asking all of my friends here to please NOT give up on me yet. My plate is full, Im a little overwhelmed, and exhausted. Im trying to work, look for a better job, a new place to live, pack, and prepare, with lacking time, resources, and finances, very much an issue right now. My recoverys in tact...My Faith is in tact, I always believe in God, "its me" Im afraid will fail or fall apart before God CAN work in my life.

Im dancing as fast as I can, Ive got the power of prayer & friendship in my life, & I continue to go to meetings, work, and do the next right thing...

Last night I had the pleasure of making some witches hats, while I watched t.v.

Poor Ronnie went to bed early after taking a sick day, he was so sick with what is called Welding Fume Flu. (He worked58 hours last week with this stuff) Hes been welding galvanized steel and its so toxic even with all of his Darth Vader looking protection. I researched it on the internet & weve been trying to flush and neutralize his levels with milk...lots and lots of milk...which hes not a big fan of, so I tried bribing him with chocolate milk...Strawberry Quik...but he chose to do the manly thing and drink it clean...straight...no ice...just like the old days!!!

Well my S/Heros, my Kindred Spirits, I know Ive lost so many blogging buddies from my inability to provide juicy, regular, and creative entries (and probably from my inability to reciprocate & add links to my blog yet)...but a girls gotta do.....I will be back with VENGENCE ...if this housing crisis, inevidable move awaiting me, and new job doesnt kill me....Theres this unhealthy part of me whos temoted to host another giveaway(as IF I could find time or possibly afford another one of thoses) to attract more folks, & bring back some folks who have moved on... but the beauty in that experience was I found out who was real, and who was doing what they needed to do to get stuff. and I "get" that, (Ive been guilty of doing that myself, mistaking that the prize was in the form of the material item being given away and not the networking & friendships really going on) but I was naive in thinking otherwize. Im a spoiled and blessed woman and if all I have was my faithful handful of "real" friends here....Im good. soooo good. (look at Gidget growing up before your very eyes!)

I did meet 2 phenomenal women from that giveaway...Kady and Renna....and Kady wasnt even a giveaway winner..."I was" when I met her. Lovin "you" G/F, you havent a clue as to how your support and believing in me just rocks my world and helps keep me going. Renna, I miss and thrive on your friendship as well.

I would still appreciate any and all prayers and thank my regular prayer warriors. Just because Im unable to visit like I used to, you are all very closely tucked, safely in my heart to help me with the strength and courage I need while thumping thru my day.

I WILL NOT QUIT 5 MINUTES BEFORE MY MIRACLES ABOUT TO HAPPEN!

I AM WOMAN..

I AM INVINCABLE...

I am tired!

Kat for President....

http://www.inews3.com/play.php?first=Kat&last=Nicotera

Meet JeEbS my newborn Bounty Hunter.....

Early Autumn Greetings All....

I am so excited for you to meet my newborn Scare Crow lovingly refered to as my Bounty Hunter because like me.... he is hunting much bounty...he is like me... a "Gatherer" he loves the smell of autumn in the air, burning leaves, crows and apple pies...ya know sweater weather. Punkins, and witchies and ghosts oh my...all friendly of course.

He is available and for sale. I am very open to working with offers. (within the realm of reality of course) If anyones interested, please feel free to email me at the email addy provided below or just hop over and say hey...

His name is Jeebs & his warm & natural head is attatched & secured on a stained dowel that runs thru his head thru his stuffed fabric body, and thru a pant leg and Ive secured him on a stained round piece of wood so he can stand, or you can hang or lean him without the round but the dowel is hidden and in tact. His hat is made from painted & sanded osnaburg, as are his legs, & arms made from the same fabric as his chubby torso. Ive included a signed and dated tag with his name on the front. He is a "Scaredy Kat FolkHeart" original. His hair is raw wool the color of mousy auburn, His jeans blue & white striped & are patched, there is raffia and straw just popping out but secured in a variety of areas on his body. Ive gently sprinkled and dry brushed a delicious but not overwhelming cinnamon spice to help embrace the wonderful fall season coming upon us.

scaredykat449@yahoo.com

I had a blast making him. He helped relax me while Ive begun a new part time job. Im not sure how long my employment will last since it may only be a seasonal job. I work at an Artists Co-op where Artists & Crafters rent booths and sell their handi work. Id consider renting myself but its a bit high for the rent.

Ive decided to include a prayer request area on my blog and invite anyone to please either include a Request or Praise for something God has done or is doing in your life or someone elses.

Ill start....... by asking for continual prayer for my husband and I to find an affordable house to rent, as time is of the essence. I ask God to please help me to remain strong, sober, faithful, & willing to do what ever it takes to remain peaceful during this stressful time. I also ask that we find a place with small pets wont be an issue.

I also ask for continued prayer for my Precious Mom as she battles this cancer. Im pretty sure her medical team are going to discontinue her chemo so she can keep what little quality of life she may have without the devestating side effects that have made her so weak. They will probably contiune to keep her as comfortable as possible. I am so grateful and inspired by her courage...I thank you all in advance for your friendship and prayer. Ill keep you all posted on our house hunt, not "just" to keep ya posted but to prove how powerful and mighty our God is..... I BELIEVE!!!!!

Im BaCk!!!!

Hey EVERYBODY!!! REMEMBER ME??????????...

Im BACK!!!! I am so sorry for not being able to get here sooner. I have NEVER been unable to blog for this long, but life has been happening at a speed wayyy too fast for me. I have missed everyone & havent been able to visit anyone either in a long time. I thank those of you who have been wondering, worried or just plain wondering what was going on.

Having a new part time job, looking for another with "more/better" hours, 2 newleweds living with us, having to look for another place to live with not much time, going back to several meetings a week, sponsoring someone, working with a sponsor, therapy, a tagsale, trying to fill a couple of orders, preparing for 2 shows coming up in Sept., and trying to keep this household clean, orderly, & running drama free, is just overwhelming.

I am trying to keep in front of me that God never gives us more than we can handle, and alot of mindblowing blessings have been put in my life...but I feel as if Im spinning. Im not recieving anything I havent prayed for, which is radical, & spiritual change, a better place to live, a part time job and family in my life... full time....oooh yeah...I got ALL my prayers answered & then some! It just reiterated to me that I need to be careful what I pray for!

Im sometimes still so clumsy with trying to live my life with dignity, grace, & gentleness, & when I become overtired which is often, I often times try & peek to see if Gods doing a good job in my life, (imagine, as if He would need my help) & if Hes slow, or saying " no, not now" I become frustrated & take my will back and THATS when I become overwhelmed & tweaked out! When am I ever going to learn that its "Let go and let God"? not "let go and let Kat"... Forgive me Father.

I celebrated a milestone birthday...EEEKKKKEEE when did that happen? yup 50! I sure hope the 50s are the new 40s....I went to my favorite place in the woods & released 5 helium filled balloons. I wrote 1 name on each 3 balloons & then worte Gods name on #4 and mine on the last one. The first 3 balloons were released with the hopes that I would forgive the resentments I still hold in my heart for these people and then I released mine & asked God to please help me to let go of these folks and make my heart clean, and I let Gods balloon go thanking Him for my being here at 50 when I cant think of any human or scientific reason I should be with all Ive done, allowed to be done, & then all thats happened to me with or w/o my permission. I lost the choice to think sanely, safely, or responsibly when I was actively using & drinking. I let the balloons go & wept, sobbing & hiccupping tears of gratitude, joy, and hope for all I believe to be waiting for me. Its a miracle that Im alive I was blown away with my gifts. I was on the deck getting ready to feed my squirrels and the birdee community, & my son hollers out to me, "Mom...someones at the door" & Im thinking "well child, go open it", but he didnt (& there was a reason why, unbeknownst to me), there stood an elderly gent holding a beeeeautiful vase of flowers. My new daughter in laws parents sent me flowers. WHAT A SURPRIZE for me...Thank you Noemi & Alfredo! Fabulous, thoughtful, and beautiful people.

The kids surprized me with a cake, a chubby candle announcing"50", an aluminum helium balloon & a couple of cards. My mom just blew me away with a touching card and giftcard from Joannes. The actual gift to me was the card that she went out to buy, her husbands birthday was a couple of weeks ago but she was too sick from her chemo to go to the store, so whenever I opened the card that expressed her joy in watching me blossom into such a remarkable woman of God...well you can only imagine how that leveled me. Thanks Mom.

My sister living in Florida battling daily life with the threat and upset of hurricane 'Faye" sent me a card and giftcard from Walmart...thanks Sis, you rock, I miss you & pray for your safety, joy, & abundance, in all you do.

I thank everyone else who surprized me with emails, cards, e-cards, and phonecalls wishing me a happy birthday. Im not sure how you all knew or remembered with everyones busy lives but thats exactly why I adore you all. Amazing, fabulous women folk,& Im humbled to be considered a part of all of you.

Im leaving you a few pics of a get together we had the day after the kids got hitched, Mom was here, she ate...ALOT!!! she laughed, and loved...Ive got pics for proof. She blessed us all with her tenatious spirit proving to all that the devil is a liar...She is the epitomy of Dignity, grace, & gentleness. Ive also included a couple pics of our sucessful tagsale & some mushrooms I found in an area where Opie & I walk & share some "we and pee time" these suckers look like their a part of a Government project, their flippin huge...Ohhhh gimme some Janis Joplin tunes, a strobe light and love beads...see ya on the " roadtrip" LOL

Please know I pray for all of you kindred spirits and please know that the only reason Im able to continue on my journey clean, sober, grateful, and trying to do the next right thing is because of all of your prayers... PPPAAALLLEASE Dont stop now....I promise not to wait so long between posts.

TINA...Darlin...thank you soo much for my blog award...I havent forgotten it, Im just trying to catch my breath & Im honored to participate & accept this award...however, feeling a little guilty but will do my best to be a better blogger!

Soft in the Head Giveaway!!!!

In case you haven't already heard, Pam Gracia is promoting a blog giveway! That's right, the Olde Softee herself, is causing a commotion. She is giving away not one, not two, but 3 things! To enter her drawing, simply post a comment on her blog! Be sure you also check out her offerings on Simply Primitives and Pfatt Marketplace.
I cant seem to paste the picture of her adoreable prizes but just click on her blog link Ive managed to cut, copy, and paste...whoo hoo, who says you cant teach an old Scaredy Kat new tricks????
Someones gonna be awfully lucky to win one of her 3 yes three prizes. ohh go check it out now....

Wedding Bliss (Jordan & Noelia)

Welcome to my son Jordans wedding day. He and my new beautiful daughter in law "Noelia" were married on this past Sunday August 3d. We were thrilled to have our oldest son come home for 4 days from New Jersey, but without his wife because Lana is in Russia attending HER brothers wedding! My parents understandably but sadly told us they wouldnt be able to attend since my Moms chemo side effects are sometimes brutal & she was afraid if she managed to get there, shed have to leave. So when my Dad surprized us & showed up at the park without my Mom which was a gift within itself since he never leaves her side, we were all very touched.
The half hour service in a beautiful park noted for their plush gardens was very hot, so his showing up, was truley a gift. After the sentimental & tearful ceremony, & picture taking, we all went to the Sheriden Hotel to "PaRtAy"!!!!! and Partay we did. The buffet of chicken, pasta salads, delicious alfredo side dishes and rich treats were superb. The cake was marble with a white whipped creamy frosting.

I have to share with you, I was feeling a little cheated and squirrely with everyone drinking and getting a buzz. Not everyone knew we dont drink so we were constantly being offered, invited or pushing away drinks from guests wanting to celebrate with the parents of the grrom! There was an open bar for 3 hours.
But after the buzz gradually & progressively increased, Ronnie and I watched the transformation twist into certifiably "feeling no pain", (WHATSOEVER) or what we would call "shifazzed",we felt much better about choosing to remain sober. Especially the next morning, we woke up chipper, headache & nausea free, sobriety in tact ready to embrace our new day.
Im sure since the wedding was on a Sunday, there were probably alot of call outs on Monday morning!

On Tuesday evening before David prepared for the long ride back to Jersey. we had a wonderful family get together and my Mom felt well and comfortable enough to join us with Grampa, Noelia, Jordan, Ronnie, David, & I.

I made italian goulash, salad and were able to take some great pictures for all of us to tuck inside of our hearts while we were all well and blessed enough to smile, and love each other out loud. I am just overwhelmed with gratitude, love, and filled with joy.

Thank you for taking a minute to allow me to share my sons beautiful wedding and some precious memories with you.

Please take a peek at the exquisite choker I am wearing with the matching earrings & bracelet. (click on the photo to enlarge) They are Cultured Pearls, Sterling Silver, & Swarvsky Crystals. All designed & created especially for me "The Grooms Mother" (which is the name of this set) by a very special friend of mine I met online & have shared a deep intimate friendship for the past 2 years. Stephanie designs and creates elegant pieces which can be found on her website http://www.designsbysteviejay.com/ She blessed me w/ this amazing set because she knew I was panicked about (what a girl like me) would wear to her sons formal wedding!

When the box arrived, I thought it was another wedding gift for the kids. So whenever I realized it was for me....I opened it like a little girl on Christmas morning, & when I saw what this woman had done just for me...well thats when I decided Id have to absolutely buy a tube of waterproof mascara to get me thru this week! I felt so feminine, froo froo, and actually "felt" pretty. Thank you Stephanie, you have once again touched my heart & rendered me speechless.

Well folk, life is back to normal & Ive got to go catch up on emails that Ive not been able to open or respond to since Ive been offline since early Saturday morning! Ive also got a great job interview later today working with a network of artisans who display their work, which is mostly country, primitive, and folkart, in a co-op venue. Perfect job for Kat! Please keep a positive thought for me at 3:30 this afternoon! Thanks....