A real Honor.

Well I am BEYOND excited to share that I found out last Saturday evening that "My story of addiction & journey into recovery" is being published in a book.
Almost 4 years ago, I carefully composed my story after being invited to by Dr. Barbara Sinor. She was writing another book. She is a Psycologist & re-knowned author who has written & published other books.
This book "Tales of Addiction" & inspirational stories of recovery will be released in bookstores on May 1st.
There's a part of me that's so excited, because I LOVE writing & it took me 2 months to carefully complete & edit...add...remove...add again...pray...sweat....remove...lather, rinse, repeat... well you get the picture...LOL but as the time nears..the reality of people, family, friends,& aquaintences , faceless people, who are going to be reading this...well lets just say Ive been munching on anti nausea chewables for the past week!!!! What was I thinking????

When I shared my experiences, I was still on the contraversial medication that I owe to saving my life...which was Methadone. I was safely & successfully tapering off of it.
I was in the process of successfully working towards closure with my loving & fabulous therapist, "Karen" after spending 3 years of early Wednesday mornings with her as we unpeeled the ugly, stanky layers of what we referred to as my emotional onion... Years of abuse, self inflicted alcohol & substance abuse as I was trying desperately to numb the pain of so much needed healing.

This spiritual escavation of self was way bigger than anything I could have managed myself...I know my my addiction was only a symptom of my dis-ease.
I diligently prayed for help...I was blessed with Karen "who" by the way, saw me on her own time without charging me a dime...She believed in me & saw something in me that no one else including myself saw. She was the director of the Methadone Clinic that I was on at that time, & continued seeing me even after I left.
She invited me to her office at 6:45 am ever week & told me shes never taken a risk like this with any another patient at the clinic in the years as director, nor had she after me...so I KNEW "this" was a gift.
This is the very gift that inspired me not to even come close to blowing it...not for me or for anyone who may get to experience this after me....It reiterates to me today, that sometimes all it takes...to radically change...is to have that ONE person believe in you....It is why my life is so open...I dont know who God may assign to me some day.

Im not sure Ill ever be able to thank Karen for all she did for & with me...I can only continue being the very best I can be in honor of both of us. Im humbled that Karen often shared, she came away a different woman as well. She told me she surely was getting the better out of this deal...imagine?
Im not sure how, its not important for me to know..but God did...He used both of us to ignite healing in each other.
See..... God had planned this long before we ever had a clue...I thank Him every day for Karen, for the people, the phenomenal women He carefully & mercifully selected & placed in my life....so when this oppertunity to tell my story came to pass...I latched on to it as a way to try & process & deal with the challenges facing me as I was leaving people, place & things that were important tools in my recovery. Together, I believe they all played a major part of saving my life. Helping me rebuild a new one that I cant even fathom is mine..its simple, beautiful, challenging still, but I wouldnt trade places with anyone...not for the love of man or money.

And on May 1st my experience will be a part of several other "Tales of Addiction" & inspirational stories of recovery.

Id like to thank Dr. Barbara Sinor who trusted that I was very appreciative, humbled, & grateful to be able to tell my story. I look forward in reading the other experiences, strengths, & hopes, that so many have stepped up courageously to use their voices as well to carry the message that Hope is indeed alive.
To NEVER quit 5 minutes before your miracle is about to happen. Im so incredibly grateful to God for always loving me...in deeming me worthy of a do-over...yet another second chance.
Just click on the picture of the book & it will take you to Dr. Sinors exciting website....

Thanks so much for allowing me to share a part of my personal life today as opposed to pictures of something I created with sewing or painting.

Upcoming Release in 2010!