Getting Better

Loreal Make up really ROCKS!
& heres why...

Happy Sunday! What a gorgeous day it is here in Conn. Were promised a beautiful sunny but chilly day. it is ripe with Autumn in the air.

I finally painted & embellished my first painted pumpkin of the year. It took me awhile since everything is still such an effort...With these stairs, Id probably lose your respect if you knew what Id do JUST to have a Foleys Catheter strapped to my leg...TMI? Im just sayin...

Im actually going to bravely post this picture of me from this past Tuesday afternoon when my dear funny friend Diana (a wonderful Primitive dollmaker) stopped by after work for some coffee & gossip.

Poor girl had that look on her face when she saw me like....

she just shot her parents accidently...

then gracefully & quickley recovered fast enough to cover the shock she had on her face from seeing me. Her visit was very healing...friendship & laughter always is.

True Dat!

This journey has aged me beyond.

Gratefully a large & careful amount of Loreal, my flat iron, hair care products help me cover up & fool my Friday Group into believing that I am able to show up...and I do. its what provides me with great joy & hope, I probabaly wouldnt go to help myself...but to help carry a message of hope to someone needing it...Then a girls gotta do...what a girls gotta do.

So back to my pumpkin story...I sat this guy in a basket with some straw, funky gourds & loaded it with Werthers & Jolly Ranchers hard candies & brought it with me to donate to my Friday morning group. I still feel warmed & amazed that these people can express such child like excitement & appreciation for such a small act on my part. They all have such "Life Issues" theyre battling & yet each of them made sure to hug & thank me...You just never know who you touch when youre busy being "you" Im still washed with deep humility to be on this path.

So Im sitting in my jeans & favorite old red tattered fall "Champion" sweatshirt...ooooh yeah the honeymoon is way over...that train left the station years ago...(giggle)
& since I steam cleaned the house yesterday, Im going to put a pork roast,& some roasted taters, in the oven & will serve it up with homemade applesauce...garden cukes & tomatoes..(not necessarily from my garden cuz I didnt plant one this year... but SOMEBODIES)
I bought the latest issue of Create n Decorate & found some delightful patterns to paint. I have a couple of different palletes to paint them on so it should be fun. Im still trying to finish my painted/quilted primitive flags Im almost done with. Gosh Im such a LOSER when it comes to completing projects that scare me....Im livin up to my Scaredy Kat moniker.

Im busy reading, writing, & walking to some fabulous old school funky music on my I-Pod. I still resemble a geriatric patient without a cane...hmm... how tempting would painting a crazy & wild wooden cane be??? to use on these death defying walks in my hood? My husband would probably beat the ugly off me if I allowed myself to stop fighting & give up....this journey sure aint for cissies...
So Im on my way to healing.
Thoughts of visits with my Nat Nat & the energy needed for her 16 month old "catch me if you can" energized bunny self.... (PPPFFF show off) keep me grounded & going...

no painted canes for this Kat.
Which probably means...
no Foley catheters either....
Until the next time, may all of our weeds be wild flowers...

Rough Riders!

Hey Everyone...

Im sorry Ive been amiss but Ive been busy... Rough Ridin...

Im not going to bore anyone with any graphic or gorey details, ( I am facing some of the physical wreckage of my past) suffice to say Ive been bed ridden & sofa surfing after a serious round of medication that proved toxic & non responsive to my system & until we were/are able to rid it...Ive been riding out some exhausting terrain battling extreme pain, weakness & exhaustion.

Anyone who knows me knows I am generally boinging off the walls with energy...

"boinging"

hmmmmmm...

is that even a woid?

did you know what I meant?

then on to my story....

So facing this experience has stolen my quality & every aspect of my life...

but heres the good news...

I BELIEVE!!!!

I am on my way to healing, the devil IS a liar & no weapon formed against me shall prosper.

There...how bout we have some Church up in here?

Its been about 7 weeks of this experience & thru it all just when I thought I couldnt possibly love my husband any more...oooops there it is.♥

What in the world have I ever done to deserve this man? He has loved me, waited on me while working inside & outside of our home, hes cooked, done dishes, sorted, done & folded laundry, entertained folks, yakked on the phone to my girlfriends..HELLO!!!! all the while supporting, encouraging, laughing, loving, praying & putting my level of comfort on his priority list.

Hes such a keeper.

I know Im getting better because I feel it, I believe it & God showed me...heres how... Ive been a renewed sense of trust & purpous by being asked to facilitate a group of heroin/opiate addicts seeking recovery in the same facility that saved my life so many years ago...

Is God kidding????

When????

This Friday????

Full circle...

Gods timing.

Not mine....

Last Friday I SOMEHOW managed to throw on the face paint, iron my hair & strap on my turquoise & silver (& fake it till I make it) to meet for the first time for an hour & a half.

I went in convicted & hard...

but came home balling my eyes out...

no one saw me....

I hope...

(another segment of rough ridin tryin to steer the truck thru the ugly cry) in humility & gratitude that the Director, counselor & patients trusted me...me? to support them, to give what was given to me so freely....

This gift, gave me a sense of purpous & passion again as I walk thru some darkness of my own right now. I came home & napped HARD for 4 hours...

We went out Saturday to buy pumpkins so I could paint & donate them to the Center. This time & opportunity has provided me a reason to get up & get out of myself....

I dont remember being thru anything like this..not even in my darkest times...

back then...

so Im so very grateful for everyday I wake up for another chance to please God,(even when & especially when Im convinced I cant do it...I do, so thats God not me) try to make up to my husband a portion of his gifts he gives to me & with a renewed spirit about whats "really" important & how its not always.... always about me.

Another blessing is that I found out the magazine I write for ~Recovering The Self~ is on the press & the article I wrote & am featured in will be out in early October....

Ive posted a very whimsical & silly "Grady" on my side bar who is one of my several punkin head dolls Ive been slowly making...

everything these days is slow...

REALLY

S-L-O-W!

Grady was completed yesterday while I was feeling the lost gift of increased energy & wanted to honor him being so "Grade-ful"

Thank those on my Face Book page, my recovery forums & in my personal life who know the darkness Im climbing out of....I couldnt & cant do any of this without prayer, without support & unconditional love void the shame I already battle for the consequences of my horrible choices many years ago...

Time to pay the Piper.

Hes a bitch!

Thank you for stopping by & next time I promise there will be more creative projects and a more uplifting post....

Abundant September

Thought Id enjoy a delicious cup of hot coffee with you on this perfect fall like September day.

Ive been working on some really cute but stubborn punkin head dolls.

This heres Earleen, (thanks to Peanut from Countryfolk Keepsake) I was birthing her when we were anxiously awaiting the hurricane Earl who missed us but took away our heat wave... & Peanut suggested I honor her after Earl...& after seeing how our hair styles are similar.. (mine & Earleens not Peanuts)I mean some folks hardly know if Im comin into or outta a hurricane on most days....

Ive got 8 more neked bodies awaiting my attention, theyre gittin kinda ornery just layin on my table...just waiting & awaiting like Ive signed em up for some nudist colony wanting them to hang their little freak flags.

And speaking of flags....(Giggle)

Ive also been having some fun painting some prim flags... not to worry, I am fully clothed....then I stitch em up w/ batting inside & embellish em with some stripes & stars & rather than use a dowel to attatch them, I use a long branchy kind of twig outside. They are really cute & sell really well. Ive painted some pumpkins on them, some salt box houses & a couple of crows-n-sheep.

Im so grateful to share that since my last blog post, my husband has been called back to one of his jobs that he subcontracts out to AND has been working every weekend restoring a sweet 67 Mustang for someone needing a welder & body guy!

That would be him....:)

Ive also been so busy, I completely forgot on Sept.3d I celebrated my 7 year clean & sober anniversary...wow...what a ride.

Much to be thankful for.

I sure wasnt even living close to the beautiful, bountiful, spoiled life Im blessed with today.

So thank you... to all my family & dear friends who cared enough to support, encourage & love me when I havent always been the most loveable.

And of course, I am emotionally & forever grateful to God who plucked me up from the bowels of the earth cuddling me, healing me, & promising me that this was only the beginning.

So yes, I celebrate this very abundant September.

Thank you for stopping by & sharing a cuppa with me..Im just tickled with joy that you stopped by....