HELLLP ME PLEEEASE!!!!!

Good Lord my Bloggin saviours...friends, commeraderie, mentors, anyone???????????????

I am a MESS!

Thank goodness for delightful surprizes such as the one I had Saturday of my little girlfriend "Enola" & her brother Mikey and Mom "Nicole" who stopped by WITH grocery bags full of BBQing goodies for us to throw on the grill...fresh ears of yellow and white corn...ohhh whats that corn called that melts in your mouth? is it sugar corn? oh well you know what I mean..short term memory is still trying to come home...LOL & beans, chicken, & I had made tuna/cucumber pasta salad that only took about 3 hours to prepare...Jeesh! with Ronnies help..he diced the celery, onion and cukes...um twice cuz he made em kinda too chunky the first time..hes such a good sport..so Ronnie taught Mikey how to woodburn his first project on a small box & Mikey blew us all away with his 9 year old talent...a couple of games of horseshoes while Nicole, Enola & I chilled...well Enolas 16 months so we kinda chased her around but we had a ball.

What Im beggin for help with is....this self absorbed nightmare of boredom Im feeling while still unable to do much of anything with this albatross of a dead stump I think used to be my right hand/arm/thumb!!!! I am really STRUGGLING with being unable to do absolutely anything while still in this cast..man I see some men and women who courageously experience chemotherapy with such a spirit of grace and dignity...not me..uhhh-uhhhh..what a wus I learned I am. I hear myself complaining and thing WHAT people MUST be thinking..Ohhh POOR ME..cant do housework, cook, clean, bake, create and or decorate...has to allow her husband to serve and wait on her hand and foot..ohhh POOR KAT!!! LOL Im just sayin....I am no hero...Im quite ashamed of myself for not being able to accept and embrace this as life on lifes terms or that its temporary...

Im not a tv watcher...Ive been reading novel after novel....I come on the computer to stimulate myself and I feel more frustrated seeing all the things I cant do right now...I ended up making a mistake last week while still trying to master left/clicking.left/mouse rolling...& when I recieved an invite to upgrade my spyware/virus protection, I tried to decline but mistakingly clicked on UPGRADE NOW!!!! then I couldnt stop the madness!!!! so I finally upgraded....against my will....& then couldnt reply or send any emails recieved, nor could I delete anything in my spam box...AAARRRGHHH where in tarnation did I put the suicide hotline number?????????????????????????

so I go to the yahoo online chat techie guy "Al" (thank you Al...you so rock") and after spending 1 hour and 26 tearfilled minutes helping me land this plane.....I found out after going into the bowels of the earth in cyberland that I had to enable my javascript thingy..and I was finally fixed..Ill bet shortly lafter that little journey "Al" is probably looking desperatley for the same number for suicide prevention that I was..OR......he drank his lunch!!!! LOL

so back online suffering from blogland overdose.....grieving all the fabulous new fall/autumn decorating, creating and designing dolls that I dont see happening for me anytime in the near future...I humbly come back here to where Im loved in spite of my whining, complaining and venting...

My doctors appt. is Aug 28th to find out if Im healed enough to begin Physical therapy...and work/school begins on the following Monday the 31st...& Im pretty sure I wont be available or ready to go back to work..my poor boss is freaking out cuz we just found out my assistant wont be returning and just quit!!! so I wont be there..my assistant wont be there...and the kids will be thinking Im not coming back...ohhhhhhh..but I YAMMMMMM I YAMMMMM!!! arent I?

Ive been praying and expressing my heartfelt gratitude to God, that I "Have" a job, I will be healed but in His time, not mine..I have learned things about myself..some good..some well...maybe not so good, but still lessons...I have found out who my true friends have been and who have been aquaintences and Im grateful I have "them", Im clean, sober, didnt get strung out on the powerful pain meds and I have a fabulous husband who Ive fallen head over heels in love with all over again after 21 years together....so I am still very blessed and spoiled...I just miss so many parts of my old life...and thats a good thing.

Im keeping my dear friend "Stacey" from Ravens Haven in my thoughts and prayers as she sadly lost her precious Dad last week....

I am looking forward in celebrating my birthday on Thursday the 20th with some friends and more BBQing goodies, well probably fire up our awesome new fire pit, light the tiki torches and just embrace the truely precious things in my life...family & friends.....

I thank so many of you who have humored me, popped in on me, emailed or left encouraging and loving comments...Pam, Tina, Laura, Peanut, Cookie, my sister Ginnie, and of course Stacey.....I love you all so much. Thank you for never giving up on me.

Thank You Everyone

I want to thank everyone who have been praying for me, reaching out to me publicly and privately. I have not had... nor am I... having an easy time of healing.

Surgery was supposed to be only an hour and a half but because of the trauma from my fall, we were down under..for 4 hours.

On last Friday I had both pins removed...cast removed and an IV bag of antibiotic from a surprize infection administered. I am still however back in a soft cast w/ rods supporting my hand and lower arm straight.

I was soooo embarrassed that as the doctor was removing said pins...I ended up passed out w/ my head in doctors lap!!!!! my blood pressure dropped after seeing the tools and puckered incisions & state my poor hand is in. I thought there would only be 2 incisions, but because of the damage, he made 3...I was hoping I had literally died when I realized I passed out...the nurse was fanning me w/ my own chart and I was being encouraged to sip a small cup of water..I was praying would be arsenic. LOL

When I came home from the surgery and I was so altered from the risidual effects of anesthesia and powerful pain meds..I was convinced that my air conditioner was whispering to me..for 3 nights!!!! On Friday..the one where the crash of 09 happened...I had kept my commitment and brought back more than half of the remaining unused very addicting pain meds. It was the agreement we all had, as soon as the immediate hysterical post surgical pain went away, Id use perscribed motrin and stay focused on my recovery in sobriety.

I am struggling now with being back in a cast, mild tendon and ligament pain, my hand is so very weak, its my dominant hand so nothing but reading and hen pecking with left clicking and mouse rolling for me for another 3 weeks. Then physical therapy...Probably not in time for the beginning of the school year for me.

What was I thinking?

When I went to the doctor this Friday I was in la la land thinking Id be completely healed, cured. ready to sew, paint, cook, clean, journal, and begin a new baby afgan for my Grand daughter......Im in the same disabled state I was in days after surgery. Im working on acceptance.

I was so looking forward in rebuilding "Scaredy Kat and Her Own Crow" and creating a new falloween line I have been thinking of since all those medications that had me in a tea party in the circle of Alice and wonderland! LOL Re-establishing my life in blog land...but I guess God had other plans for me.

Ronnie deserves the key to the city,,,the award of being the bestest husband in the world...I have fallen deeply head over heels in love with him all over again after he lovingly catered, served and took tender care of me as if I were a brand newborn. I wanted for nothing...even threatened to serve me in a speedo and flip flops if I was feeling blue...he wanted me to smile...mission so accomplished!

Thank God hes doing some sidework for the first time since all this happened..he needs to get out of the house and do manly things like welding, working with other manly men...greasing up his world with what he loves doing.

Im a blessed woman.

Thank you all who have expressed such concern and encouragement as my summer and life were turned upside down.

Thankfully the healing has begun.

I missssssssssssssssssssss sewing...................... my flat iron... my make up and hairspray..I look and feel all of...well none of yer business. wwwwaaaaaaa...LOL

Thumbs up! Im GOIN IN!!!!!

I Do believe in spooks..I do I do I do!!!!!!!

Well folks tomorrow morning Ill be in the hospital w/o coffee, cigarettes, make up, valuable jewelery ok..I get that... but HAIRSPRAY????? Ohhh it aint gonna be pretty at all!

A shower tonight, another one in the morning before admitting..admitting what???? any secrets I have will be gone...in one of the 2 showers they insist I take? to what? wash away any sins in case I dont make it???..what kind of wild life do they think I have that requires 2 showers in a 6 hour period???

Ohhh well theyre gonna make 2 insicsions, one on the side of my thumb, the other under my wrist into my newish tattoo!!!! to remove 4 inches of tendon to pin...PIN???? EWEWEWEEEE to the injured but shaved bone in insision #1! Im not feelin this at all.

They arent intibating me, ill be breathing on my own . Im having a surgical block but will be in a twilight state...they assured me..over and over and over again! It may surprize you, but Im NO surgery hero.. they assures me Id be in such a sedated state, theyd still have to shake me to wake me. Ill be able to respond to voice commands...in case of what???? I want a cup of coffee? a cigarette? put on my make up or spray my hair???? I mean what are they gonna ask me? OHHHHHHHHH This doesnt sound good at all. Im claiming the 5th ammendment as of NOW!

I want to be out of it...I dont want to hear my doctor asking the nurse to pass the thingy that shaves the said bone, or the hammer to secure the PINS...I dont wanna hear my doctor or anyone say UH OHHH, theyll just have to cover "THAT" with some more tattoo ink!!!!or "She did say the right hand right???"

OHHHH, so because Ronnie wont be able to post the fact that I made it, Im in lala land and on some good drugs, & because Ill be in a large bulky pressure cast for at least 10 days...Im probably not gonna be able to share my "surgical experience" for awhile. I will howver to do my best to come back and left click with my toes if I have to!!!!

I thank so many of you who have been praying, supporting and encouraging me here & on facebook.

I know Im being a big baby, but I yam what I yam....

Im praying that ill be up and attem preparring to get better to enjoy the amazing tickets Ronnie won to the ALLMAN BROTHERS on Aug 30th the night before I hopefully go back to work..Ill be back before then bragging about that blessing as soon as I can.

I sent out the giveaway goodies to Peanut from "Countryfolk Keepsakes" early this morning, so please check her blog out next week, Im sure shell be showin and tellin a couple of the goodies I sent her in addition to the Blog giveaway Prize.

So as Carol Burnett used to say before closing..Im so glaaaaad we had this tiiiime togetherrrr..(imagine me tuggin my ear right about now) just to have a laugh and say so long..................

We Have A Winner!

I want to thank each of you who signed up for my blog giveaway...those of you who advertised my giveaway on their blogs ...thank you also.

I am so tickled to announce that our very own regular on Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow.....drum roll please....

"PEANUT from COUNTRYFOLK KEEPSAKES"

won my painted Patriotic Pillow designed by Kim Klassen & a bunch of primitive goodies shall arrive on her countryfolk doorstep as soon as she emails me her home address.

Thank you again for your support, & enthusiasm!

scaredykat449@yahoo.com

Cant wait to hear from ya girlee!

More Goodies

I just wanted to share a few of the goodies Im going to be including on this blog giveaway. I had such fun at Cape Cod Crafters the other day & picked up this sweet primitive red star on a piece of twine to hang somewhere fun in your home, then I picked up this adoreable saltbox lapel pin, a package of creme brulee tarts that smell delish!
I also added a painted primitive flag that I found one year from an artist in Create N Decorate, her first name is Stephanie & I adore her work. I wanted to share this vintage bottlecap magnet of a little girl celebrating independence day with the winner too.

I sure hope I didnt offend anyone while explaining why I wouldnt include anyone who didnt have a blog or anyone who wasnt in what I considered "a community of doll makers" I was just so surprized during my last giveaway the amount of folks blatantly wanting something,. anything free from the internet. I had people saying "Yeah Im joining even though this pillow isnt something at all Id want, my daughter might so if I won could you please paint it in another color?" Then I found someone with their addy being something like "free stuff .com

I have had a ball in the past signing up for many giveaways and I like to support several of the blogs and hard working folks, I think its a great way to get to know people, have folks
get to know me a little better & I apologize if I didnt handle this with the grace it may have required, but thats why I adore so many of you...you teach me
so much as a neophyte myself to this wacky but wonderful world of blogging about our passions, whether that be family, friends, vacas, pets, or new desings.

Ive gotten some of thee best recipies, ideas, hints, laughs, and shed some tears from being a small part of so many of you. I wasnt trying to discriminate in any way..I was trying to limit the amount of folks who werent interested in networking or supporting, but only in gittin something.



I really appreciate the support, encouragement and inspiration Ive recieved from you in the past. Im commited in learning how to find a balance in keeping whats so close to my heart which is creating, and meeting some of the most phenomenal women who Ive become friends with while having to make a living outside of the walls of my home.
I come home like most, tired, lacking energy, and time. I feel as though Ive lost some of my dearest friends and even acquaintences while not being able to come here or create as I used to before having to work ...ya know??? working for a living IS highly over rated! LOL. Gosh I miss some of you sooo soo much.
Thank you for understanding Im still very clumsy in my walk & am tryng to learn how to be the woman of Grace so many of you are.

I have finally been given a surgery date for the reconstruction of my boo boo thumb...so July 30th Im goin under the knife...yikes...Im flyin around here trying to play catch up and digging around for sweats and shorts that have elastic band waists so I can pee without the aid of the hubs!!!!! Ohhh am I gonna pay for each time hes suffered & has been bandaged & deemed helpless with "welding flash" that included eyepatches and my mercy!!!! which may or may not have been a short supply of. (GULP)
Praying prayers of gratitude for blessing me with my blogging sisters.

Scaredy Kat & Her Own Crow Giveaway!

I have been away wayyyy too long with all the excitement of going back to work...to a new supervisory position that has brought me much learning about myself, has provided much financial relief, and has helped me meet some of thee most difficult but loving children and staff in the Transitional Educational Program I work in.

However, the downside to this new life of mine was the inability to find time and or energy to do what I have been blessed with, which is the passion to create. I am sometimes curious as to whether it is a blessing or burden.... because I do know it soothes my spirit, by creating and Ive been learning how to design my own characters.

I have met some of the most charming, talented, and inspiring doll makers, designers, painters, sculpters, that this world wide web has to offer. I have made some phenomeanl friendships, I have been tucked quite safely under some of the wings of these women. Now come on yall....Im not discriminating, cuz I know there are a vast variety of talented male artists, but the ones Im talking about happen to be women.

That said, I have missed out sorely on being a regular on some of these blogs that I used to read & respond to on a daily basis. I have spent some of the first week off for the summer, trying to read & play catch up on some of these amaaaaazing blogsites. I feel so out of the loop. I am excited to realize one of the most valuable lessons I have learned while working outside of the home is that I can have the best of both worlds...but will take alot of creativity to manage my time and find the balance I so desperately need when I go back to work on August 31st.

So I thought I would express my thanks to those of you who havent given up on me since Ive been away, & even those who have, and thought hosting another giveaway would help me meet some of the new artists, artisan and crafters who share the same excitement I do whenever we see/smell a yard of fabric, a spool of thread, a bottle of paint and at a tag sale, flea market or even a thrown away piece on the side of the road deemed worthless, until we come by, rescue it, clean it up, strip it down and do whatever we do to put love back in its grain again......
or reintroduce myself back into this wonderful community of women who do what we do.

I "am" going to insist however that although everyone in our community is more than welcome to leave a comment & sign up for this giveaway, I wont make the mistake I did the last time and include names of those who only want something free, void any blog, business, or desire other than to snag something free off the internet. I was simply amazed as a neophyte how many folks signed up with rediculous requests, briberies, nasty statements, or comments and didnt even have a blog....those Im speaking of???? Need NOT apply.

Now I am excited to offer this Handpainted Americana Pillow designed by Kim Klassen. I found this design in the August issue of Create & Decorate. Miss Kim had painted this piece on a huge plank of beautiful wood, & since I havent anything close to that, nor can I afford to purchase ...I was just sqirtin w/ excitement to paint this on a piece of muslin...the back is a dark blue Patriotic fabric w/ teeny little white stars on it, and I stained a tag that states..."Land of the free because of our brave..." secured w/ a piece of twine with a rusty saftey pin. I measured it 18 inches long & 9 inches wide, painted & sewn in a non-smoking home. It is a $32.00 value & as long as it is mailed in the good olde USofA...shipping is free. If you click on the picture, you can see the pillow up close & personal & appreciate the detail Iworkled so hard to compliment on Kims design celebrating our USA.

I invite anyone with a blog, a business, & or passion to decorate their home...to just leave a comment on my blog w/ your email addy or blog link so I know how to contact you if you win..

If you would like to triple your chances??? I will add your name times 3 if you help me get the word out & post this giveaway on your blog...just let me know in your comment, and BAM 3 times it is....

Im also going to include a couple of primitive surprizes to sweeten the pot.

I thought of giving everyone a 2 week chance to get thier name in, so on July20th...we will pull someones lucky name out of a basket...Good luck and have a FABULOUS week yall, while we get this party started....

Im on the BEAM!!!

Id like to introduce to you my brand new precious Grand Daughter... Natalie Josephine...born this afternoon a little after 3 pm.

Mom is fine but naturally exhausted...Dad is in the ZONE with pride...and of course Ronnie and I are just spent with songs of praise and gratitude to Jesus for blessing us all with this miracle of life and protecting both during this 12 hour labor and delivery.

I am incredibly amazed at how the circle of life envelopes us. Little Natalie was concieved the same weekend the kids were here saying goodbye to my Mom when she passed away. In my Moms house.

Natalie-Jo was weighed in at 21 inches long...and 7lbs & 9 ounces

Natalie is Lanas Moms first name (who was at her side during delievery all the way from Russia, here for 6 weeks) and of course Josephine being my Moms first name.

Ten Perfect fingers and toes...I am going to bed a blessed and happy woman. I couldnt wait to stop by here first and share my beautiful Grand Daughter with all of you. Thanks for being a part of my journey...

Plans are in the making for our trip to Jersey to meet her in person. How can someone love someone so very much whom youve not even met yet? This is an incredible experience.

Signing off for the very first time as G.G. (Glamorous Grammie)